Page 1 of Don't Call Me Daddy
PROLOGUE
Ivy
Seven Years Earlier
“Ahem. Are you ready?” My twin sister clears her throat and stands up on her bed, waiting for my full attention. She’s only two minutes older than me, but she takes her big-sister role very seriously, especially when it comes to planning things.
One thing about Fern is, the girl loves a list more than anyone I’ve ever known. We look identical, apart from our eyes. Fern’s are a cloudy gray while mine are a warm amber. It’s like our souls chose the most distinguishing feature possible to express our differing personalities.
She’s meticulously organized, focused, determined, and she has a plan for everything while I’m more of a … free-spirited, go-with-the-flow kind of person.
Honestly, she’s probably the only reason I’m passing any of my classes since I’ve always had a tendency to daydream. I don’t know what I’d do without her bossing me around, tellingme what to do next. Probably fail out of school and need to get myself a sugar daddy or something.
“Hello? Earth to Ivy?” She waves a hand to get my attention. “Jeez, sis, am I that boring?”
I blow my fallen bangs out of my face. “I told you, I’m listening. Just because I’m not making direct eye contact doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” I lean back on my arms and cross my outstretched feet in front of me. “What’s so important about this list anyway?”
“It’s not just a list, Ivy. It’s a road map of how I’m going to live the most incredible life possible.” She rolls her eyes and holds up the list as she begins to read. “Visit the home of the Ashford Falls Phantom…”
“Not this again.” I laugh. “Why are you so obsessed with this one? Is it the daddy issues? Because I think maybe you just need a real-life boyfriend to help you get over this monster obsession.”
She bounces on her knees on the edge of the bed. “This ismylist we’re talking about, so don’t start shaming me just because you don’t understand him.”
“He’s a cryptid, no different from Bigfoot or the Lochness Monster. He’s not real.” I grab a book from the pile of monster romance novels from her side table and wave it in front of her. “None of them are, and even if they were, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to fuck them.”
“You wouldn’t know real if it walked in this room, Miss Head in the Clouds.” She snatches the book away and clenches it to her chest.
Ever since she stumbled upon the monster romance section in our public library two summers ago, my sister has been obsessed, and it looks like the Ashford Falls Phantom is her latest monster du jour.
“Okay, so you want to visit Ashford Falls, West Virginia,” I say to appease her. “What else?”
She narrows her eyes. “Are you actually going to let me finish or just tell me how stupid you think it is?”
I hold out my pinkie, and she loops her thin finger in mine. “I promise I won’t interrupt you again.”
She smooths her hand over the notebook. “First, I’ll take a cross-country road trip. I’ll visit ghost towns, go on cemetery tours, stop at every interesting attraction that catches my eye along the way?—”
“Like those weird monster festivals people are obsessed with,” I add.
She rolls her eyes. “Obviously. Now, do you want to hear the rest of the list or not?”
I hold my hands up apologetically. “Sorry. Please continue.”
“Then, I’ll do all the adventurous stuff we never got to do growing up because Dad was too busy chasing women half his age and Mom was too depressed to even notice.”
“Such as?” I ask, trying to bring the conversation in a more productive direction. The last thing we need is to deep-dive into our fucked-up family life right now. I’d rather think about the things that are actually in our control.
She shrugs. “I could go camping in the Appalachian Mountains. Learn how to fish. Jump off a waterfall?—”
“Jeez, Fern, are you trying to live a full life or a short one?”
She drops the list just enough to glare at me. “It’s about experiencing everything life has to offer, dear sister. And doing things that scare me pushes me out of my comfort zone, thus making me better as a result.”
“If you say so.” I laugh.
“I do say so. Now, stop interrupting.” She clears her throat again, then reads, “Enter a wet T-shirt contest. Party in Vegas for my twenty-first birthday. Make out with someone rich andfamous. Kiss in the rain. Talk to strangers—as long as they’re not creepy. Make mistakes and learn from them. Say yes when adventure calls. Have a fling with a boss.”
“Fern!”
