Page 21 of Don't Call Me Daddy
“I was just catching her up on all the festivities, and she can’t wait!” I say for her, my voice sounding not at all like my own.
Please just go with it. I give my best attempt at telepathy, but this time, she nods like she understands, and a small smirk pulls at the corner of her lip.
And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the smirk means trouble.
“Yes, Leo was telling me all about the party … tomorrow? Tomorrow night?” she answers, reading my head nod as encouragement. “He’s so excited about it actually. Said he couldn’t wait to wear the matching crochet bow tie you made him for the photos.”
My mother’s eyes light up as she hangs on Ivy’s every word. “You should see how cute they look together. I think I’m going to put it on this year’s Christmas card.”
Ivy places a hand on my mom’s shoulder. “You should. It’d be iconic.”
My mother beams and audibly gasps. “We could all match!” She pulls Ivy closer and not so quietly whispers, “Now, tell me, would you say you’re a B cup? I don’t want to assume?—”
The nurse call button slides out of my hand, landing on the tiled floor with a sharp thwack, and all their heads snap to look at me.
“Jesus, Mom, can you not?—”
But she just brushes me off. “Oh, stop eavesdropping. We’re having a little girl talk over here.”
She tugs the end of Ivy’s long braid, to which Ivy just laughs. They’re talking like they’ve known each other for years rather than ten minutes.
“I’m usually a B, but it depends on the bra. Half the time, I don’t wear one because I don’t like to be restricted,” Ivy answers pushing her breasts together.
I nearly fall out of the bed.
“Hell yeah,” Luka says as he and Guy dab knuckles.
I snap my fingers at my two youngest brothers and point. “Hey, fuckwads. That’s enough!”
“Leo, you can’t screamfuckwadsin the hospital. There could be children on the other side of this wall!” my mom hisses, as ifthat’swhat’s inappropriate right now.
I snap my mouth closed and grind my teeth as all three of my brothers try to hide their snickers.
“You have lovely breasts, dear. I know my son likely agrees,” Mom says. “I think you’ll love the top I’m crocheting for you. I only started on it this morning—since I didn’t know you existed before then—but I’m nearly finished. I was just waiting for your cup size, but it doesn’t look like it’ll take more than a few rows.”
“Knock, knock,” Dr. Stone announces as he walks in the room. “Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all!” I practically yell, thankful for the interruption.
He greets both of my parents, who are more than delighted to catch him up on all the happenings of the last ten minutes—which is admittedly a lot.
“Well, Leo, it seems you’ve been busier than anyone realized.”
“It appears so,” I agree because that’s all Icansay right about now.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ivy. I’m Dr. Stone, resident doctor of Ashford Falls and Leo’s godfather. I’ve known your fiancée his whole life, so if you ever need blackmail on him, please know you can always come to me. I’m more than prepared and happy to help.”
Ivy shakes his hand and laughs. “You know, I might just have to take you up on that.”
“So, Arthur, do you have any updates on what you said on the phone? How were his tests?” my dad asks.
Dr. Stone clicks his pen and scribbles something on his clipboard. “After taking a better look, it’s easy to see that you’ve probably had this for quite some time, but luckily, you got here before it ruptured. We’d be having a whole other conversation if that were the case.”
He shoots me a glare over his reading glasses. “I wish you had said something sooner. I could’ve saved you a lot of pain.”
“Well, he wouldn’t be Leo if he did things the easy way, now would he?” my dad says, his tone laced with frustration.
Dr. Stone laughs and shakes his head like he knows exactly what my dad is talking about. “No, he wouldn’t.” He nods his head toward Ivy and then back to me. “You’re going to have to keep him in line if you want him to get better. Lots of rest. Maybe even taking some time off work if you’re in the miracle business.”
