Page 84 of Pretty Please Me
I open my mouth to speak, but she interrupts me
“Now, Maggie,” she coos, “Don’t make excuses for him. Only someone truly horrible could do something like this to a woman. We can’t make excuses for a man’s behavior just because he’s pretty.”
“Listen, Claire, it was very nice to meet you, but I should really get going–” I gesture to the party behind me, and she grabs my wrist.
“Oh, come on, don’t leave. I’m only trying to warn you about him. Whatever good you see in him, just know it’s all a show. This is what he’s really like. The moment he doesn’t get his way–”
“You don’t even know him,” I spit. “Sam was just a hurt kid back then, still healing from the loss of his mother. Then you… you cheated on him, and he messed up. He’s not dangerous. He’s kind and tender and loyal to a fault. Even when he doesn’t realize it.” I jerk my hand away.
Claire’s lip curls in disgust. “You’re even more delusional than I thought. Well, I can’t say I didn’t try to warn you.” She pulls away and turns to leave, then calls over her shoulder. “He didn’t happen to mention that he beat up Jeremy so badly that night that he broke his jaw and had to have it wired shut, did he?”
My face falls and confusion pulls at my brows.
“I didn’t think so. He always seems to conveniently leave that little detail out. But you know, we got a house out of it after the lawsuit. We got enough money to put us both through college, and he even paid for our wedding.” She shrugs. “I guess it wasn’t too bad of a trade-off. Well, enjoy your life laced with domestic violence and bliss. I guess the sexiskind of worth it…”
I cross my arms over my chest as rage boils under my skin “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Sam is the kindest, most gentle person I’ve ever known, and you’ve spent your whole life playing the victim.” I step in closer and narrow my eyes. “Well, you aren’t fooling anyone. Sam’s done everything he could to make things right, yet you’re still here at his family’s home… If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re desperate for attention, and it’s killing you that everyone’s moved on.” I let out a laugh of disgust. “Sam may have made a mistake when he was eighteen, but you’re still downright pathetic. But I’m sure you already know that, too.”
Her mouth drops open in shock as I turn on my heel. I need to find Sam and make sure he’s okay. I lift my dress and tiptoe over the cobblestone path that leads to the pool, where I find him sitting alone, staring off into the distance with his arms propped on his knees. A pile of empty beer bottles lay at his feet as he dangles one from his fingers.
“I know you said to give you space, but I need to talk to you.” I sit on the chair beside him, and he huffs out a groan.
“Maggie…” he warns, but I cut him off.
“I’m in love with you, Sam. I have been for a while now. I don’t know why it took me so long to admit it.”
“You don’t mean that–”
“Yes, Sam, I do!” I turn to face him, trying to get him to look at me but, he keeps his eyes trained on the ground.
“You think that’s how you feel, but it’s all an illusion.” He sits up, his dark eyes laden with anger. “You think this is real? It’s all bullshit. You’ve been sold bullshit by the best player ever to play the game.” His heavy words hang in the air between us like glue, and I feel like the air’s been punched from my chest.
“Where’s this coming from? Why are you saying–”
“I’m saying it was just sex for me. You’re confusing your feelings. You don’t have anyone else to compare to, so you think this is something it’s not.”
I shake my head, “No, you don’t mean that. I felt it. I know what I felt. Stop trying to push me away, and let me in…”
He takes a gulp of his beer, turns to face me, and speaks. “I don’t know what you want from me, I’m finally being honest with you. I didn’t want it to come to this, but Jesus, Mags, you just keep digging in, trying to bore yourself into me.” He releases an exasperated sigh. “You asked me to help you, to give you sex lessons, and that’s exactly what I did. I never promised you anything more than that. We were friends, so I took pity on you and did my best to make you feel special. Hell, you are special. I meant every word I said. But this isn’t a thing. It can’t be a thing, and we both know it.”
“Sam, you’re drunk. Let’s not talk about this tonight–” I start to get up, but he reaches out and grabs my hand.
“No, I’m not drunk, not yet anyway, but this is exactly the time to talk about it.” He pulls out his phone, and we watch as 11:59 turns to midnight. “See, times up. The contract’s come to an end and so have our lessons. You’re a free woman, Maggie. Free to fuck whomever you please now.”
“Sam, stop saying that. You know you’re the only one I want to be with. Why are you doing this?”
“I lied to you,” he whispers. “I told you that I threw the rock impulsively, and I never meant to hurt anyone, and while that’s mostly true… I didn’t tell you that I broke the window with my fist and pulled Jeremy through it and beat him until my arms went numb and Claire’s dad had to pull me off of him.” He turns and looks at me, his eyes full of pain and torment.
I shake my head as hot tears spill down my cheeks. “Sam, I–”
“See, I am a monster. I’ve been trying to tell you all this time. Do you finally believe me now?” He opens a fresh beer from his pile and tosses the aluminum lid. The sound of it clinking on the concrete rings in my ears.
“You don’t scare me, Sam. You may have convinced yourself of that, but I’ve seen too much. I know you, and I know you’re the furthest thing from evil. Let’s go inside and drink some water. We can talk more when you calm down.” I grab for his hand, but he jerks it away.
“Would you please just stop fighting me? I don’t want to hurt you,” he growls. “I’m trying to tell you this is over. I fulfilled the contract, and I wish you and Trent all the best. Trust me, he’s a far better match for you than me.”
“Is that what this is about? Trent? Because I don’t–”
“Hasn’t that been the plan all along? Don’t you want to see for yourself? Give him a shot? Trust me, Mags, there’s a big world out there full of guys who can give you what you deserve. I’m just not one of them. I’m sorry you thought I could be.”
