Page 40 of Pretty Please Me
Silence falls on the other end as I wait. Finally, I hear him suck in a breath, and I can hear the smile in his voice, “Son, we would be delighted for you to bring someone home to meet us–”
“Great, Dad, I think she’d enjoy the beach. Listen, we’re just friends, okay? I don’t want you and Charlotte to get your hopes up…” I trail off, letting my words sink in. “I… uh… I still haven’t changed my mind about all that stuff. I just don’t want you to get too excited.”
My dad sighs, and I can feel his disappointment from a thousand miles away. “You know, Sam, just because you decided something over a decade ago doesn’t mean you have to stick to it. People grow, you’re allowed to change your mind–”
“I know, Dad, but not on this.” I cut him off. It’s always the same conversation with him, and I get it. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to settle down and finally let go of some of the shame, but I can’t do that. I don’t expect him to understand, or anyone to understand, for that matter. I’m the one who has to live with my decisions, and this is the best way.
“Well, okay, then. I guess I’ll see you in two weeks?”
“Sounds good.” I confirm and then add, “Oh, and could you tell everyone not to bring up any of that stuff around Maggie? I don’t exactly feel like explaining the mistakes I made when I was eighteen to every person I meet, you know?”
Dad sighs again, sounding disappointed. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to tell them.” He pauses for a moment as if considering what to say next. “You know, son, I think you’re being too hard on yourself about all this, but just know that we’re your family, and we love you no matter what. I love you, and I can’t wait to see you.”
“Thanks. I love you, too, Dad. See you in two weeks.” I hang up, then send a message to my assistant to mark my calendars for two weeks off. I figure I won’t be in much of a working mood after my family visit and then sending Maggie off to meet up with her new beau.
Despite my dad’s disappointment, I feel a little lighter having something to look forward to at the end of this. I know it’ll be hard seeing Maggie with all my family, but it’ll be the closest thing I ever get to settling down, and as the old proverb goes,It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.Maybe this is my penance.
I shut down my computer, deciding to cut the day short. I’ve got an idea for tonight’s lessons, and I’m itching to get started.
* * *
I type in the key code and listen for the beep as I let myself into my apartment. I texted Maggie to be dressed and ready by the time I got here, and as I walk in, I’m happy to find her fully clothed in athletic wear, wiping the kitchen counters.
“I hope this is okay.” She pulls at her cropped t-shirt. “I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but I couldn’t find a single workout top from our shopping trip. I guess the only tops that made it to the register were crop tops and workout bras…”
She pins me with a stare, and I laugh, holding up my hands. “Hey, I’m a man who knows what I like, and after seeing you in a crop top at that mall, I couldn’t help myself.” I walk toward her and pull her into me, catching her off guard. I don’t care about toeing the line anymore now that the reality of this has sunken in and I’ve received a fresh reminder of the end date. I just want to enjoy what we’ve got while I can. And I don’t care if it’s reckless. I can lick my wounds and savor my memories for years to come.
I bury my face in her neck, sucking in her clean scent as I run my hand up her back, finally landing on the nape of her neck. “I missed you today. I couldn’t stop thinking about our night, I couldn’t focus on anything else, so I figured I’d cut the day short, and we could do something physical to get my mind out of the gutter.” I give her neck a tiny nibble, then seal it with a kiss.
When I pull away, Maggie’s eyes are as wide as saucers. I guess I did come in a little hot and heavy, but she didn’t see her get herself off in the bathtub last night. I’m convinced I’m the luckiest man in the world for having the privilege of witnessing it firsthand.
I kiss her on the forehead. “I’m going to change, and then we can go.”
She relaxes a little, and I release her, not missing her flushed cheeks or how her eyes scan me up and down when she doesn’t think I’m looking. Maggie may not be confident in her sexuality just yet, but I can read her like a book, and she’s enjoying her role in our little dynamic.
After I change, we head out to where our next lesson will take place. Maggie’s already asked me once where we’re going, but I told her it was a surprise. Though I could tell she wanted to argue with me, it seems she’s remembered the rules. I suppose I have last night’s punishment to thank for that.
As we pull up to my rock-climbing gym, she shakes her head. “I should’ve known.”
“What do you mean?” I feign ignorance as I climb out of the car and walk around to open her door before she can. She knows to wait for me but I wouldn’t put it past her to try to prove herself now that she knows what I’ve got in store for us today. I offer her my hand. “Come on, you don’t know you’ll hate it unless you try,” I urge.
“Sam, you know I’m afraid of heights,” she whines. “Is it not enough to push me out of my comfort zone in every other way?”
I grab her hand and pull her to a stop so that she’s looking at me. “Are you telling me this is red for you?”
She turns her head in confusion as if she didn’t hear me, and then her eyes widen with understanding, and she shakes her head.
“Because safe words apply in all contexts of this lifestyle, Magnolia. I want you to know that I respect your boundaries. I want to push you, but I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“No, I’m sorry. I was just being dramatic.” She shakes her head and smiles. “I’m just nervous, and I am afraid of heights, but I trust you, Sam. I want you to know that.”
“Good.” I push her hair behind her ear. “Now, let’s get you geared up and climbing some walls.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tuck her into me, shielding her from the cold wind as I grin like a thief who never gets caught.
SIXTEEN
Maggie
I stare at the twenty-foot rock wall before me, palms sweaty and heart racing as Sam tightens the climbing harness around my hips and thighs. He’s positioned on his knees in front of me, taking extra care to ensure everything is just as it should be. It feels a little strange, almost intimate, but this isn’t anything special. I’m not special here. This is a rock-climbing gym, and hundreds of people come here every week and put on the same gear, take the same precautions, climb the same walls.
