Page 70 of Pretty Please Me
Sam
“Good morning, gorgeous.” I pull Maggie’s soft, warm body into me as I kiss her on the neck and she begins to stir. She slept like a rock last night. Actually, we both did. I don’t know what it is about being home but I always get the best sleep when I’m under this roof. The faint sounds of chatter echo in the distance and I can hear the click-clack of Denver’s nails pacing down the hall on the tile floor.
“Come on, if we don’t get up for breakfast there won’t be any left.” I pull the covers down and walk around and help Maggie up.
She rubs her eyes and groans. “Who needs breakfast? I was sleeping so well.” She tries to climb back under the covers but I stop her.
“You say that, but you haven’t had Charlotte’s French toast. Besides, we have plans today and I’d like to get a head start.”
We make our way into the kitchen and find Charlotte busily whipping something in a bowl while my dad works on a crossword puzzle in his favorite chair by the window.
A beam of golden morning light shines through the window illuminating Maggie’s gorgeous red locks and in this light, it almost looks pink. I smile as I watch her, completely unaware of how devastatingly beautiful she is. She smiles warmly and does a little stretch looking so fucking happy and at peace and at that moment I almost forget to breathe.
How is it possible to be this fucking happy? The feeling is quickly replaced by dread. Our happy ending will be the shortest forever that will never be.
“Good morning, you two lovebirds,” Charlotte coos as she pours us each a cup of coffee. Passing it to us across the countertop. “There’s cream and sugar right over there. Breakfast will be ready in about five minutes. I’m just waiting for it to cool off.”
I add the cream and sugar to Maggie’s cup and give it a good stir before handing it to her. She makes the cutest moan of appreciation as she wraps both hands around the steaming mug and smells. “Everything smells so amazing. I wish I could bottle it up and save it.”
“Well, you’re welcome anytime, dear.” Charlotte wipes her hands on a hand towel and throws it over her shoulder. “You don’t even need this one if you don’t want,” she says as she whips the towel in my direction.
“Hey, I bring her home for less than twenty-four hours and you’re already trying to replace me?” I hold my hand against my heart as if I’m deeply offended. But I get it. Maggie is incredible, and it’s not hard to notice. She doesn’t take anyone for granted. She’s got this air about her that makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room. It’s not any one specific trait but a culmination of everything she stands for and everything she doesn’t.
“Well, maybe if you’d come home more often we wouldn’t need to,” Charlotte retorts. She says it jokingly but I know she means it. Guilt pricks in my chest and I sigh. I know I should come visit more. But no one understands how painful it can be. Every time I’m here I’m reminded of the darkest parts of myself. As nice as it may be in the moment, it’s like salt in the wound when I leave. It seems these days it takes longer and longer to recover from.
But my parents are getting older, Dad’s hair has gone completely white since the last time I saw him nearly a year ago. Maybe it’s time to suck it up and be more present, I’m all too familiar with living with regrets. I don’t need to add to my ever-growing list.
Charlotte sets two plates down in front of us. “Here you are. I hope you like fresh berries, Maggie. I had a heap of them in the freezer from when we went picking this summer.”
“This is delicious. It’s like heaven exploded in my mouth!” Maggie closes her eyes letting out a little moan.
“That’s what she said!” Jamie laughs as he walks in the room, eyes crusty and hair sticking up in every direction. He’s bare foot wearing gray sweatpants pulled down low on his hips and no shirt. Drew gives him a high five from his seat on the couch as Jamie passes.
The real-life Beavis and Butthead.
“Oh Char, you know the way to my heart.” Jamie singsongs as he makes himself a heaping plate.
Simon walks in and pours two cups of coffee, presumably bringing Wren her cup in bed. My brother is wrapped around her little finger so tightly, I can’t imagine how he’s going to be with a baby. “Save some for the rest of us, jerkoff! If my pregnant wife misses out on Charlotte’s French toast, there will be blood and I don’t think even I’m tough enough to stop her.”
Jamie drops the metal spoon, and it clanks against the glass dish. “Fair enough.”
I watch as Maggie’s eyes ping-pong between my brothers like she’s absorbing every word and can’t get enough. What I would give to know what she’s thinking right now…
“Do you think we could have one family meal where we don’t use crude language? Or threaten to physically harm one another?” Charlotte barks as she pulls another batch of French toast from the oven. “We have plenty, there’s no need to growl and hiss like wild animals.”
“But we are wild animals,” Drew teases as he scoots into the kitchen to make himself a plate.
“Believe me. I know. I’m just doing my best to make you all semi-polite humans.” She dusts powdered sugar off her apron. “But one woman in a house full of males is no easy feat.” She looks at Maggie as she sighs and shakes her head. “I did my best, dear, he’s yours to break now.”
Maggie smiles but looks down at her plate, pushing her food around with her fork. We both know that’s not true but why does she look so sad about it?
“Well, I hate to eat and run but I’ve got a surprise planned for Maggie today.” I stand and take mine and Maggie’s dishes and load them in the dishwasher. “Dad, is it okay if I borrow your truck for the day? We’re you planning on going anywhere?”
“I plan on enjoying my first official day of retirement from the comfort of this chair.” He kicks his feet up on the coffee table and leans back, bringing the crossword puzzle closer to his face. “The keys are on the hook by the door.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
I turn to Maggie and waggle my eyebrows. “Are you ready for your surprise?”
