Page 43 of Pretty Please Me
Who am I kidding? I take my time running those errands because I need space to calm down after everything today. I need to clear my head and remember why I’m doing this in the first place. Maggie may belong to me temporarily, but the reality is that I’m preparing her for another man.
Trent Cain is the complete opposite of me in almost every way. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t fully stalked him on all his social platforms. It’s just too easy these days, and I couldn’t help myself. I may have also run a background check on the guy, just to make sure he didn’t have a history of domestic violence or any other red flags.
He’s got that whole jock look to him, even though his football captain days are long past. He’s wholesome, still lives in a suburb outside his hometown, and wears pastels and khakis on Easter. He’s as vanilla as they come and probably doesn’t shy away from his trusted missionary position. After taking one look at him, I have no idea what Maggie’s even worried about. The guy married his high school girlfriend at nineteen. Surely he doesn’t have much to compare her to.
But to my disdain, it all came back perfectly clean. No outstanding warrants, flags on his license, or lapse in insurance coverage. Nothing. I saw that he filed for divorce early this year after nine years of marriage. No kids, which surprised me, but who am I to judge?
My guess is that they realized something was off because they were finally in a place to have kids, and that’s what led to the divorce, which according to the court document, was filed asirreconcilable differences. But I’m no expert, just a career bachelor who’s been around the block a time or two.
The more I think about it, the angrier I become. Not because he’s not good enough for her but because he’s exactly the type of person she needs. Sure, she’d have to suffer through boring sex for the rest of her life, but I’m sure he’d treat her well. He’s stable and has a great career; he’d be able to commit to her, give her babies and provide a life where she could stay home with them if she wanted.
All the things that I can’t and won’t do.
Maggie deserves a low-stress life. I only know a portion of her story, but from what she’s told me, it's safe to say she comes from chaos, and now she deserves the world. She deserves someone who doesn’t have all the fucked-up baggage that I have. So, as irritating as it may be, handing her over to some square who’ll probably never understand how lucky he is, I know it’s what’s best for her, and isn’t that the whole point of this anyway?
I check my weather app for the millionth time, making sure everything is as perfect as it can be. Normally, I would never put in so much effort for a creative date. I’m usually content with a nice dinner and a show before the night really begins when we get home, but I want to dazzle Maggie. I want to show her what kind of effort she should expect from men she dates, so she doesn’t ever compromise for the bare minimum.
That reminds me, I’ll need a little backup if I want to pull this off. I pull out my phone and text the only two shitheads I can count on to cash in one of the many favors I’m owed.
Hey, guys. I know it’s late notice, but I need your help tonight.
Jack
Sorry, bro, Gwen and I are binging the Harry Potter movies this weekend. We’re only three movies in, so…
You know, that sounds really nice. I’m so glad the two of you are together and safe back home. I’d hate the thought of what could’ve happened without your two pals Maggie and Sam there to HELP FIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING OCEAN!
Jack
Yeah, you know what they say about good friends. They look out for you just because they care, not because they expect anything in return. I’m glad you understand.
I swear to god, next time you’re stuck on a deserted island and you need my help to make it back home, I’m just going to rewatch Harry Potter.
Jack
I’m not saying my leg being amputated was entirely your fault … but I think we all know if Benjamin were there, I’d probably still have a foot.
Not this again. You can’t blame me for approving a life-saving procedure! Besides, you like all the variety that comes with changing your prosthetic! You even told me you bought a wooden peg leg for your pirate costume this year!
Jack
That’s beside the point. That’s just me making chicken salad out of chicken shit!
Benjamin
Alright, children, that’s enough. Jack, your metaphor is disgusting. Sam, what exactly do you need?
Jack
You always take his side!
I’ve got a truckload of camping gear. I need you to meet me and set up a romantic scene on the rooftop of my building…
Jack
Absolutely not.
Benjamin
