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There’s no point denying it anymore. I’m crazy about her. That’s the only reason I didn’t cut her out of my life the moment I thought she’d betrayed me.

It wasn’t because of the baby. That was, for a brief time, the excuse I gave my pride, which couldn’t accept forgiving someone who might’ve gotten me killed. Anyone else, and I’d never forgive them.

“Has she gotten her memory back?”

“Only the distant past. This Amber is different from the one I knew. She says what she feels, what she wants. She doesn’t hide or protect herself. I’m following the doctor’s instructions, but even so, I feel like I’m failing her by not telling the truth—that on the day of the accident, I found out about her betrayal. She doesn’t even realize she was just a pawn in Angelo’s game.”

“This situation needs to be cleared up soon, or it’ll snowball.”

“We can’t talk about how we met until she remembers everything. I’ll do anything to make sure she doesn’t suffer.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

I don’t like talking about my feelings—and more than that, I don’t want to share Amber with anyone else. So I change the subject.

“Her sister’s coming to see her. Maybe when they’re face-to-face, her memory will return. And then we can finally come clean about our story.”

“I’m becoming an old man who talks too much.”

“You’ve never been discreet, and you’ve always been old—at least since I met you.”

He laughs. “I think I was born old. It’s the price you pay for being Pakhan. I carry many lives on my back, and just as many deaths. But if you want my advice, don’t let her slip away. I would trade, without a second thought, all the women I’ve had—and God knows there were a lot—if I could spend just one more week with my wife.”

I think about what he’s saying. About how I almost lost her too. I’ve been given a second chance, and I won’t waste it.

“What about Angelo?” he asks as he gets up.

“In order for his death not to be seen as a declaration of war against you, you’ll have to expose him for what he is: a thief and a traitor to his own family.”

“If that’s the plan, then I’ll have a very small window between making his theft public and killing him. Once the Sicilians find out what he did, it’ll be a race to see who gets to execute him first.”

Chapter 40

I pretend not to notice him watching me while I rub lotion on my legs.

Beau showed up early and, without saying a word, picked me up, carried me to our room, and made love to me.

Though I can’t even saywemade love—it was his act. Solo.

He explored, kissed, licked, and worshiped every inch of me. Afterward, we showered together. Now, while I moisturize my skin, getting ready for bed, he watches me, wearing nothing but boxer briefs, lying on the sheets.

I can’t even remember which parts I’ve already put lotion on—he’s completely stealing my focus.

“You always do that,” I accuse, closing the jar and giving up on the task.

“Do what?”

“Stare at me.”

“I can’t help it. You’re stunning. And I love the way you’re so comfortable in your own skin. Watching you is addictive.”

“Was that a cute way of calling me vain? I must’ve gotten it from my mother. We were really repressed back in the cult. Since we were little girls, we wore long white dresses that looked like trash bags. Hair long with no accessories, not even the older women.”

He reaches out a hand, inviting me in, and I lie beside him.

“Tell me more.”

“We moved around a lot before my sister turned eighteen. We weren’t just running from the cult but also from the authorities. If they caught us, they’d put us up for adoption—and Elodie promised we’d never be separated.” I shake my head.