Page 111 of Protected By the Sinner
“Beau is the most guarded human being I know. Even more so than me. Do you understand what it means for someone like that to open up? To trust anyone? From a young age, they stole his soul, Amber.”
Amber. Not Miss Martin, like he usually calls me.
I move closer. “Who, Roman?”
“His adoptive father, mostly. He used to beat him, just like he did to his wife, every day he was home. And still, Aurellie allowed the son she claimed to love to stay under that crazy man’s roof. It’s not just that he was adopted. He was raised by the monster who destroyed his family. He was a victim until he was old enough to walk away.”
My throat tightens.
Beau told me about his past in a cold, detached way, but seeing it through someone else’s eyes is so much more shocking and painful.
“Still, he looked after her. Made sure she had everything she needed. That means, even if he doesn’t think so, there’s still a heart beating inside him, and now, it belongs to you and that little girl you’re carrying. But that love comes with a big burden of responsibility too.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. You think Beau forgave you that day at the hospital, when your memory came back? You’re wrong. Like I told you, I’ve known him for a long time. He forgave you—without even realizing it—the second he found out you had deceived him. That’s because he didn’t have a choice. He’s crazy about you. Don’t take that for granted. Don’t ever pull something like you did today again.”
“I want to fight beside him, not be lesser.”
“You don’t need to put yourself or your daughter at risk to be a fighter. Want to make it simple? Switch places with him. Think about how you’d feel if something happened to Beau or Violet.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I get it.”
The sound of the door opening wakes me. I spring to my feet. You learn to be that way after a lifetime on the run. But today, it’s not fear that makes me rush to him—it’s the need to make things right between us.
In a heartbeat, I’m standing in front of him.
His beard is showing, and he looks exhausted.
He doesn’t say a word, just stares at me, and I know I’ll have to be the one to act.
I close the distance between us and hug him. He doesn’t hug me back, but I’m not even close to giving up.
Everyone might fear him, but he’s my love. My life. The father of my daughter.
“Forgive me.”
“It’s not enough.”
“I know, but I need your forgiveness. I never asked you for it for the way I got close to you the first time. You offered your forgiveness that day in the hospital without me asking. Today, I’m begging for it. Forgive me for how we met.”
He pulls away, and I instantly feel cold. Empty.
“This isn’t about the past, Amber. It’s about what happened today.”
“Is he dead?”
“Yes.”
I nod. “What happened today has everything to do with the past, Beau. But afterwards, I put myself in your shoes, and I know how terrifying it must’ve been for you to find out what I’d done. I’d die if something happened to you or our Violet. I get it now.”
“Get what?”
“I love you, and I can’t promise I’ll never put myself at risk again, because if it’s your life or our daughter’s on the line, I’d do it without thinking. But I can promise I’ll share everything with you. I give you my word that I won’t keep anything from you, but I can’t swear I’ll stand still while you’re in danger.”
He walks over to the bed and sits down, like he’s trying to create distance, but I won’t back off. I kneel in front of him. “Don’t push me away. I’m not perfect, but I love you. I want our family, a life with you. I know you said you don’t give secondchances, but I didn’t lie to you or put myself in real danger, even though I admit I was wrong.”
That finally seems to reach him. “You have to let me protect you. I’ve survived hell, but I’ll never recover if I lose you two.”
