Page 67 of Relentles
“Are you a stupid motherfucker, an ignorant motherfucker, or a crazy motherfucker? Megan’s my girl, my woman, my life. She’s myall, butyou?” He spat the word. “You were my best friend. You had my fuckin’ back. When I called on you, I knew the calvary was comin’. You were the most intelligent, funniest, bravest man I knew, and I was so fuckin’ proud of you.”
“You were jealous of me. To you, I’m nothing but a preppy motherfucker.”
“I was jealous of you with Megan. I never fuckin’ begrudged you one motherfuckin’ thing. You couldn’t be happy for mebecause I got her. I got somebody in my corner and she loved me for me, something I wanted my entire life, Johnnie, though I never thought I’d find it. But I did, and you hated me for it. You hated me because you loved her. You couldn’t believe she chose somebody like me over somebody like you. I was the devil and you the angel.”
“Christopher, I’m sorry—”
“Don’t. Ain’t nothin’ you can say. Especially not sorry unless you are. We both know you not.”
Johnnie bowed his head. “I am. I swear.”
“Get out, Johnnie,” Christopher said tiredly. “Just go.”
“Why won’t you believe me?”
“Motherfucker, I had to fuckin’shootyou yesterfuckinday, for your bullshit, so get the fuck out my face. I had to beat the fuck outta you while she was still in the fuckin’ hospital. What the fuck do you mean? Why won’t I believe you?” Christopher scowled. “Never fuckin’ mind. You answered my fuckin’ question. You a stupid motherfucker with a little bit of ignorance and a whole lotta crazy thrown the fuck in.”
“You shouldn’t be alone,” Johnnie said, not responding to the assessment.
“I’m going for a spin to clear my head.”
“That’s dangerous in your current frame of mind.”
“As if you give a fuck.”
“Ido.”
Christopher shrugged.
“Do you really think you should hop on your fucking bike when you’re sitting over there, regretting every fucking life decision you ever made?”
“I already said my ass is feeling sorry for myself. What the fuck do motherfucker’s do when they’re self-pitying fuckheadsexceptquestion their fuckin’ choices?”
“So, what would you do different?” Johnnie challenged. “Not gone and blown-up Spoon’s clubhouse? Chained her to the fucking bed? Locked her in a fucking dungeon?What, Christopher?”
“I don’t fuckin’ know!” Christopher roared. “Give my fuckin’ life so her and Jo wouldn’t be facin’ this. Give up my sight, my hearin’,allmy fuckin’ senses, so she could have a fuckin’ normal pregnancy and not have to get a fuckin’ hysterectomy.”
He jumped to his feet and swiped his and Skip’s empty beer bottles off the surface, ignoring the shattering glass.
“Fuck, if it meant Megan was safe and healthy and happy, if it meant Jo wasn’t so sick, I would’ve let you have her. I would do anything.Anyfuckinthingfor my Megan not to be so fuckin’ crushed. She could have as many babies as she wanted. I could have as many babies as I wanted.”
None, if they weren’t with Megan, but he didn’t need to go into detail. He didn’t need to point out they had enough lil’ motherfuckers, since everyone already knew it. His thoughts were too fucking jumbled to express all he felt.
He kicked his desk chair, slamming it into the metal cabinets underneath the lone window. “Now,please, get the fuck out of my fuckin’ face. Let me be a whiny, sulky, bitch-ass assfuck in peace, so I can pull myself together and go to my woman.”
Johnnie finally got a fucking clue. He left.
Chapter Ten – Christopher
Besides going home to Megan, the only other place Christopher could go was Hortensia General to visit Jo. Most of the time, he took his power with a grain of salt. But he’d never felt as grateful for the position that afforded him special privileges. He couldn’t imagine waiting until tomorrow to see her again.
He and Megan visited her hours ago. After receiving the devastating news, his woman cried as she put on her scrubs and held Jo in the rocker, singing a lullaby to her.
Now, Jo was asleep, connected to oxygen and IVs, throwing him back to the harrowing hours after her birth, and the small window of time in which he’d believed her dead.
He couldn’t bear seeing her so small and sick right now. After five minutes, he left the NICU department and took the elevator downstairs, going to the cafeteria. Of course, it was closed and darkened, the display cases cleared of food and the soda boxes locked. Tables and chairs spilled into the atrium. Everything was quiet and still. The shaft of light falling over the silence dampened his mood a little more.
The big, round clock on the wall behind the check-in station showed it was almost 11PM.
