Page 174 of Relentles
He’d said as much a couple of times, but always gave her another chance. This time, though, she heard the truth of his words. This was her last chance to win CJ’s love.
“But—”
“And if you lie to me, I’ll never trust you again,” he added. He shifted her in his arms and tipped her chin up. “If you have something to tell me, this is your chance.”
Nardo rose to her mind. She shivered. “I-I don’t have anything to confess, CJ,” she whispered, sniffling. She’d lied to her father and she had to do the same with CJ.
He sighed. “Fine, Harley.” His disappointment sent more panic through her.
“I love you,” she said. Love wasn’t an obligation or a responsibility. It was about breathlessness and anticipation and shared looks. “I agree that we belong together. I want to be at your side for the rest of our lives.” A fresh stream of tears started. “I’m so confused at your mixed messages.” She grabbed on to a ray of hope. “I-I think you’re lashing out because you’re angry with me. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be hurt or j-jealous.” A fact she still found hard to believe. “Even if I slip up or h-hide a truth from you out of shame, you’d forgive me.”
His silence allowed her to regain a semblance of control. She sat up and thumbed his lips. Their eyes met.
“Have you done something you’re ashamed of?” he asked quietly.
She swallowed, on the verge of confessing before chickening out at the last moment. “No.”
He bent and brushed his lips against hers. For a minute, Harley believed they’d start over as she requested. He sat her next to him.
“Two things can be true at once, Harley. We belong together but we can’t ever be together. There’s love but no foundation. There’s friendship but no trust. It’s thebutsthat have been a part of our lives for months. During one of the roughest times of my life, you bailed on me because of thosebuts. I’m not a fucking masochist, so I refuse to entertain anymore of your baseless accusations.”
Unable to think of another argument, she nodded and bowed her head. “Now what?”
“We move forward and see what comes of it.”
“C-can I go to dinner with you and Jaleena?”
“No. It’s a private matter between she and I.”
That hurt. “Oh.”
“Anything else?”
“Is she…” Harley swallowed, barely able to push the words out. “Is she your girlfriend?”
“I told you I’m no longer interested in her.”
She sniffled. “She wants you. She’ll wear you down.”
CJ glared at her. “No, she won’t. Leave it at that or get out. I don’t have time for your same bullshit.”
“But I love you! No one understands you better than me.”
“At one time, I would’ve readily agreed, sweetheart. I don’t anymore.”
“Have you had sex with Jaleena?”
“I’ve never had sex with anyone. I’ve never had my cock sucked. I only had half a hand job at the Scorched Devil’s clubhouse.”
“Why are you still a virgin?” she asked, growing more miserable by the second.
“Because I wanted us to be each other’s firsts.”
She felt so low. “Do you still?”
“Does it matter?”
Not anymore. She’d already had a first.
