Page 108 of Relentles
This fucking girl.
“Why do you fucking insist I have a girlfriend?”
Probably because it was a smokescreen for her and Nardo. She wanted to pin her bad behavior on him.
“Harley, baby, go inside,” Dad said, nodding in the direction he’d just come.
He wore neither a jacket nor a coat, just a long-sleeved Henley under his coat.
CJ hunkered further into his jacket.
“We’ll be headin’ to the house soon.”
“Okay, Uncle Chris.” She looked at CJ again, on the verge of tears. He pressed his lips together. “See you in a little while.”
She trudged away, her head bowed, the brisk wind lifting her braids.
“Girls,” he snarled in pure frustration.
Lighter and a pack of cigarettes in his hand, Dad walked to CJ. After handing one to CJ, he lit them both.
“Bishop, Rory, Grant, and some of the other boys asking for you CJ.”
“I’m not in the mood to pretend everything is fine, Dad.”
“You got to, son.”
“I disagree.”
“I ain’t askin’ you. I’m tellin’ you.”
CJ snatched his cigarette between his fingers and pointed at his father. “That’s bullshit.”
“You wanna follow in my fuckin’ footsteps, then you gotta understand what the fuck I do and how much I fuckin’ sacrifice.”
“Sacrifice?” he scoffed. “It’s the club. Brotherhood. There in times of happiness and crisis.”
“Bein’ the president ain’t that fuckin’ cut and dry. My heart been in my goddamn throat all fuckin’ day. I didn’t want to leave Jo. I didn’t want to pretend she’s fine. But I got a responsibility to the club and an obligation to the brothers and their families. I can’t ruin their Christmas cuz mine so fucked up. Cuz your ma tearin’ me to fuckin’ pieces and Jo…” He shook his head. “You see the fun and games. The drinkin’ and the women. The fuckin’ spectacle of chrome gleamin’ in the sunlight and the groundshakin’ with the roar of Harleys. You see it workin’ after all the pieces pulled together. You don’t fuckin’ see the scramblin’ and the fuckin’ jugglin’.”
“I don’t, Dad. You make it look easy.”
“It ain’t. And it’s gettin’ fuckin’ harder every year. You hurtin’. I see it all in your face. This is why I want you to experience college and frat parties. All the stuff I hear Cash, Mort, Knox, and Johnnie talk about.”
“You had me until you mentioned that motherfucker. If I’m following in his footsteps, fuck college.”
“Fuck Johnnie,” Dad spat. “I ain’t brought that assfuck up to tell you I want you to be like him. I want you to have the options he had. Then, if you want to patch in, you can be sure.”
“More and more, I want to forget about college and start prospecting when I turn eighteen,” CJ admitted ruefully.
“You already have a lot of pressure to be like me. You have to do shityourway, but one thing’ll never change and that’s our commitment to the position we hold and our brothers and the club. Ain’t no way around that. No matter what’s goin’ on in your life.”
“Jo was doin’ so good,” CJ whispered, his heart wrenching. If he had any hope of following Dad’s orders, he had to think of something else. His mother came to mind. “Mom…you…Torie.”
“Fuck, CJ, I hesitated to let Torie text me for a reason. I wanted Megan’s permission first. Shit got out of hand.”
“You’ve slept with her?” CJ asked, shocked and outraged.
“No!”
