Page 82 of Restless
“In the Dwellers, he is.”
“In other clubs he wouldn’t be. Uncle Digger ranks higher. His position is just after the vice-president’s.”
CJ shook his head. “If this is the effect Grevenberg is having on you, I might fuck that motherfucker up. You’ve turned harsh and belittling.”
Harley flinched, the words cutting through her. “He’s myfriend,” she parroted.
Instead of responding, CJ started for the door, stopping when he walked into the hallway. “My dad, the entire club, wanted Uncle Mort to be sergeant-at-arms. In my eyes, the only other man fiercer and more loyalismy dad.Loyal, Harley. Uncle Mort chose loyalty to his kid brother over rank in the club. He removed his name and convinced the brothers to vote Uncle Digger into the position everyone wanted him to have.”
Harley’s heart beat in a painful rhythm. CJ sounded done with her and disappointed in her. She’d also been horrendous to her father, unfair, judgmental, and condescending. She felt lower than she ever had.
“Loyal, Harley,” CJ repeated, his green eyes taking in every inch of her face. “Maybe, you should look up the definition of that word.”
He left.
When her mother walked into the kitchen, minutes later, Harley hadn’t returned to her seat. She continued staring at the place where she’d last seen CJ, his words rolling through her head.
“Harley?” Mommie called in a trembly voice, touching Harley’s shoulder.
The faint sound of motorcycle pipes cut into her despair.
“Daddy left anyway?” she whispered, the first tears slipping down her cheeks.
Mommie nodded. “I’ve hurt him terribly,” she sniffled. “It didn’t…I didn’t…in all the months,years…it never dawned on me.” She swiped her cheeks and glanced around the kitchen, then gazed at Harley again, a question in her eyes.
“CJ left,” Harley said miserably.
“Oh, sweet girl.”
Together, they burst into tears and clung to each other, sobbing out the misery they’d brought on themselves.
Chapter Fifteen
Stepping into the entrance hall out of the miserably cold weather, CJ leaned against the door. Because his mother loved Christmas so much, she always began decorating the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Tree trimming was an event that she saved for the week after Turkey Day, simply because of the number of trees: one in the entrance hall, another in the den, one in the second-floor hallway and another on the third. Then, there was the club’s tree, where she invited all the members and their families, and the old ladies all pitched in to bring food.
Outside, brothers turned the Caldwell grounds into a lighted Winter Wonderland. In recent years, other family members who had houses in the exclusive enclave followed suit. CJ was sure their valley twinkled so brightly during this time of year that it could be spotted from the ISS during flyovers.
But, now, the outside decorations remained dark and silent. No presents lay underneath any of the barren trees. His parents had missed their annual Black Friday date that went back to the first year they’d met. Before they were a real couple.
Often, he wondered how the love Mom and Dad had for each other burned so brightly, even now, almost eighteen years later.
Moving away from the door, CJ flicked on the overhead light and walked to the tall Scots pine. It was bright green, thick and full, but joyless. There were no strings of lights, no ornaments. No anything. It was just a tree. Waiting.
Waiting for beautification. Waiting for joy.
Waiting forMom.
As he’d told Harley, the world seemed upside down. Mom wasn’t around to preside over their family with Lolly’s help while Dad ran the club, with his officers at his side, most especially Uncle Mort.
CJ never expected a day would come when Harley would be so fucking delusional and disrespectful. Never mind her refusal to believe CJ, her behavior toward Uncle Mort was infuriating. CJ was almost certain her bitchiness had trickled down—up?—and bruised her parents’ relationship. Something else he never would’ve thought possible—a fracture in Uncle Mort and Aunt Bailey’s marriage.
When CJ saw Harley’s panic at Uncle Mort’s imminent departure, he’d made up a story that he needed to talk to Uncle Mort. Things were so bad, though, he’d left anyway, without tracking down CJ to inquire about the urgency of CJ’s matter. Maybe, he’d forgotten. He looked sodefeated. Or, maybe, he’d known all along CJ was a lying motherfucker. Uncle Mort had an amazing bullshit detector.
The silence of his surroundings didn’t help CJ’s melancholy mood. Axel, Ryder, Ransom, and Gunner were with some of the aunts, uncles, and cousins in Portland at a holiday event, while Diesel took Tabitha to a Christmas party.
“CJ?”
“Hey, Reb.” He didn’t turn away from the tree. Somehow, Harley had broken his heart.Again. He wanted her to be the girl he’d grown up with. He wanted her to be his friend. “What’s up?”
