Page 53 of Restless
Jesus Christ. “Molly doesn’t want to leave her parents. She’s afraid of them. She’s afraid of Bash. I had to tell her she didn’t trust me enough so they couldn’t read her mind and discover she’d even mentioned them to me.”
“That’s fucking stupid.”
“I was trying to protect her, the wayyoutaught me.”
“Your ma taught you, too.”
CJ growled.
“How soon don’t she want the baby, CJ?” Dad sighed, reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his billfold, thick with cash. “Now or later?”
“Dad!” CJ cried, appalled. “Since when do you put anything of importance in your back pocket instead of your cut?”
“Ain’t nothin’ but a thing.”
“That’s more than a fuckin’ thing.”
“Answer the fuckin’ question.”
“Now. She doesn’t want the babynow. She’s afraid of anyone finding out.”
Dad emptied the billfold and handed CJ the stack of hundreds. “What happens after? If she still where Bash at or she still fucking with Ryan…?”
By then, his father would’ve gotten a good night’s rest. CJ would see to that if he had to knock him the fuck out himself. “Isn’t there some type of birth control that can be in place even if she can’t remember?”
“Talk to your ma, she’d know.” Scratching his jaw, Dad glanced away. “Fuck. She gotta get a lil’ stronger first. All she been talkin’ ‘bout is all these fuckin’ tests they runnin’ and askin’ me ‘bout…aboutanother baby.”
“Where the fuck would she put another baby? We’re out of fucking rooms.”
Rage suffused his father’s face, and CJ raised his hands.
“I’m sorry. I’m not disrespecting Mom.”
“Aintcha fuckin’ business cuz it ain’t my business if your ma wantin’ more babies, so, yeah, you disrespectin’ her.”
“Doyouwant another baby?”
“Ain’t up to me.”
“I disagree. It’ll be your kid, too.”
“As long as your ma ain’t givin’ in to that motherfucker, I ain’t givin’ a fuck.”
“What motherfucker?”
“The grim fucking reaper. Who the fuck you think?”
“You’re falling apart. Could you handle Mom being pregnant again?”
His father looked…lost. “I ain’t ever thought nothin’ could top findin’ my Megan in that fuckin’ hole in the ground. Or seein’ her shot and that surprised look on her face.” He closed his eyes. “So many fuckin’ times. And I wonder if my penance for all the shit I did in my fuckin’ life, losin’ her. Then, I tell myself that’s fuckin’ insane.Sheain’t lost count of the motherfuckers she fucked up. Why she gotta be taken to pay for my fuckin’ sins? This time, she wasn’t doin’ nothin’ but bein’ a ma and a wife.”
An incoming text message perked him up. Once he read it, he gave CJ a half-smile.
“I can’t be nothin’ but your ma husband right now. My head and my heart here. If I go out there and try to be Outlaw, Ima fuck everything up, boy.
As Bishop appeared at the other end of the hallway, the doors behind CJ and his father clicked open.
Dad backed away. “Bein’ a good leader is knowin’ when to stop leadin’. C’mon, son. Your ma awake.”
