In the conference room, I shook hands with everyone except Claude Amage and Channing Powers. Lucky for them, they had the sense to not fuck with me. Reid followed my lead, then sat, while I walked to my designated seat, placed the brief case on the table and opened it. I couldn’t read Ryan’s name on the placard designating her place at the table, without breaking down. Instead of opening the presentation and then ceding to Ryan, I had to do the entire thing alone. As quickly as possible, I wanted to get through the meeting and return to my penthouse.
“Let’s get to it.” My words were flat and cold. It didn’t matter. Nothing…my entire existence meant nothing without Ryan, especially as things had ended. I had deceived her, disrespected her, and devastated her. Days before, I’d forced her into a corner, demanding she choose between me and her career. And I’d been so fucking high-and-mighty.
I claimed I deserved better. Than? Ryan was the best of the best. She had never put unfair conditions on me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same for myself.
“Noah—” Reid started, but the opening door interrupted him.
“Here you are, Ms. Hagen,” Léon said, stepping aside so she could enter.
My breath caught as she walked into view. She looked ravishing in her royal blue pencil skirt and matching blazer with a simple crème V-neck sweater underneath. The colors contrasted with her golden skin and the décolletage revealed the mounds of her full breasts. She wore the top half of her hair in a ponytail, allowing the rest of the thick mass to flow down her back.
“Merci, Léon,” she said
He nodded and smiled, before closing the door.
“Bonjour, messieurs,” she murmured, lacking her usual joy.
“Comment ça va?” Hugo asked.
“Bien, merci,” she said. “Et toi?”
“Bien,” he responded.
“Hello, Ryan,” Boyd greeted.
“Mr. Andrews.”
He studied her, then eyed me. Everyone else but Ryan followed the direction of his gaze. She refused to look my way, but at least she was here.
“We were just about to start,” I said carefully. “But I cede the floor to you.”
She drew in a deep breath and forced a smile. “Th-thank you, Mr. Keegan.” Pursing her lips, she glared at Reid, then sailed to her spot between us. Once she reached me, she went rigid, but her coconut scent wafted to me and in that moment, I would’ve run naked through Times Square if she would’ve taken me back.
I had mourned my mother’s loss for most of my life, lived in the shadow of her heartache and premature death, fearing what might be, instead of appreciating what was.
“Your computer,” I told her, sliding it to her. I feared, if I opened as planned, she’d leave.
She faced me and the sheen of tears in her eyes gutted me. “Thank you, Mr. Keegan,” she whispered, and her voice cracked.
“Ryan—”
“Don’t, Noah. I have nothing to say to you. I’m here out of contractual obligation.”
“Where have you been? We’re all worried sick about you.”
She ignored me and looked at Boyd. “Let’s begin.”
My heart shattered all over again. Seeing Noah was harder than I’d expected. After running to our room, removing my ring, and grabbing my purse and a pair of sneakers, I’d fled, having nowhere to go. Everyone I’d trusted had betrayed me, so I’d checked into a motel, intending to book a flight on the first available departure. It didn’t matter the location as long as it was stateside because I didn’t have a passport. But I’d put my everything into the bid for the Amage account and I wanted to see it through.
Once I made that decision, I’d spent yesterday preparing for today. I’d pulled myself together and went to Macy’s to purchase the outfit I wore since I’d abandoned all my clothes at Noah’s place.
When I left the meeting, I didn’t know what would happen. An unconscious fear had been horribly realized. It wasn’t until I found myself with no one that I understood I’d clung to Quinn in part because I was afraid of being alone in the world. Now, I was, and it was everything I’d always imagined. Desolate, lonely, and frightening. Yet, the guilt from my parents’ accusations was finally severed and I put myself in Quinn’s place. It didn’t matter if I’d asked her ten million times and she’d lied just as much. I’d always been accusatory and just this side of judgmental. The shame I carried had morphed into something darker.
“Would you like a glass of water?” Noah asked.
“No.” The less I spoke to him, the better. The pain in his face and voice shouldn’t matter to me, but it did. If I wasn’t careful, my heart would overrule my common sense and I’d hear him out. I didn’t care the circumstances. He could give me no valid excuse for cheating.
A smaller table and a single tripod were at the front of the room, indicating that’s where Noah and I were going to do the presentation. It was an old-school set up, but based on their building, the Amage brothers favored vintage things.