Page 6 of CTRL+ME
I’m officially her boss.
She’s my daughter’s nanny.
I can’t go there with her, but the pull...
Oh, the damn pull.
The day flows easily with the three of us, and Lylah seems to recognize and adapt to our routine. There aren’t any hiccups other than the fact that she didn’t bring any of her belongings to officially move in, which causes me to feel like I'm trying to convince her for most of the morning. By the time we sit down for lunch, Josie is already tired and only wants to nurse once again, while I desperately try to add something to the hollow pit that is my stomach.
I’m swallowing down another moan-worthy bite of the Thai food that we had delivered when Lylah speaks, “So, do you need to do some work today?” I wonder if this is her way of asking if I trust her to keep an eye on Josie yet.
“Not right now, but I will this weekend. Miss Josie girl is going to her grammy and papa’s this weekend.” I pause to look down at my suckling girl. “Aren’t you a pretty baby?” Her eyes are soft andsleepy as she continues to soothe herself, nearly to sleep.
“What do you do for work?”
Ah, the question I wasn’t prepared to answer so soon. I’m not ashamed of what I do, by any means. It provides a very comfortable life for my daughter and I, and I’ve never felt more confident with my body than I do now, and that’s all thanks to sex work. I have clear boundaries with all my clients, and to date, I’ve never had a reason to feel ashamed. But explaining this to the girl I’m drooling over, well, it’s risky. Sex work is hit or miss with so many, and really, this should've been a conversation we had before I offered her the job to ensure she was the right fit.
Even at my age, a girl still gets nervous from time to time.
I make it as if Josie is falling asleep, excusing myself. “Oh, let me lay her down before she nap-locks me!” I call out over my shoulder while already walking toward her room.
Laying her in her crib, I stand over her for a moment, watching my sleeping angel. Her soft breaths and pink cheeks steal my heart. Seeing a sleeping baby—your sleepingbaby—truly never gets old. I still can’t believe I created this beautiful, tiny human.
Returning to the kitchen, I still ignore her question.
“So like I mentioned, Josie’s actually going to be staying with my parents for the weekend. This is something that’s been planned for a bit now, as I had no idea you’d come along and be the perfect fit, but the drive is a few hours, meaning you’ll have the house to yourself for a bit.” I give her a second to respond, but when I notice her chewing, I continue.
“I hope you’re able to get comfortable in the house, check out the jets in the bathtub, order in some more food, which reminds me—” I grab the magnetized grocery list off the fridge and scribble down my email and password for the food delivery app, ripping off the paper and laying it on the counter for her.
“This is my login for the app, so if you’d like to order anything while I’m away, please don’t hesitate. But feel free to make yourself at home, get accustomed to the layout, and let me know if there's anything you’d like. When I get back this evening, we can chat if you’re still awake when I return. It could be late, my mother is a talker.” I smile at heras she takes a drink, consuming not only the drink but my rambling too.
“The house all to myself, what kind of trouble could I get into?”
Oh, so much trouble. Here’s to hoping she stays out of my office, and maybe my room. Or, I’ll hope she doesn't. Maybe if she finds my recording equipment or toys, she’ll go ahead and run for the hills, if that’s going to be how she reacts. I push that thought aside and make a mental note to set one of my business cards out where she might stumble across it.
“With the jets in the bathtub, plenty, if you catch my drift.” Maybe that was too forward because Lylah half chokes on her noodles.
“I’ll have to see for myself.”
I’d like to see that, too…
I need an excuse to get away from her while I compose myself.
“Do you mind if I leave the baby monitor with you? I’d like to get a small workout in while she’s down for her nap?” I slide the monitor toward her slowly.
“Absolutely, I’ll be listening out for her, and I can handle it if she wakes early.
I believe her. Her presence is both calming andunnerving to me, but perfect for a small child. She has that cute little nanny vibe about her.
So cute, and way too fuckable.
When my brain starts imagining tying her to my bedpost, I take that as my cue once again to get the hell out of dodge. “Perfect, just let me know if you need anything.” I hesitantly leave her and head to the indoor gym, immediately mounting the treadmill and cranking the speed to work out the pent-up sex demons possessing me.
“Okay, we’re all packed up, Josie girl,” I sing-song to Josie as she coos in her car seat. I’ve obviously overpacked, and my nerves are a bit shot, knowing she’ll be gone for the whole weekend, but I do trust my mom wholly. Josie would surely stay with them more if they lived closer; it’s just always an unsettling feeling leaving my tiny eight-month-old girl anywhere but home. Although it’ll be nice to be able to batch film content this weekend and get to know Lylah a bit more.
“Okay, seriously, if you need anything, just call.My car has hands-free, and I’m happy to help. I promise I don’t bite… too hard,” I say, turning to Lylah.
“I will, I promise. Drive safe, both directions.” She basically shoos me out the door, saying her sweet goodbyes to Josie as well before we’re suddenly loaded up and on our way.
