Page 108 of Blood & Lace
"What about that apartment, think they know?" Nash asked.
Adam came to mind, and I'd thought about calling him briefly but abandoned the thought the moment I had it. If Onyx had brick walls up, Adam was locked away in safe after safe and buried deep underground.
"No."
"You sure?" Damian questioned.
"Yeah." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I can't protect him if I don't know what we're up against." I couldn't lose Onyx, not now or ever. I knew for a fact I wouldn't be able to go on without him. And I wasn't some sentimental fuck wad who would live on, I'd race to the Grim Reaper in the hopes of finding him again in the next life.
28
ONYX
For once,I was up and out of bed before Lucero could wake. I left the shower running water so he’d think that’s where I was. I noticed that when I did, he went back to sleep. However, this time, I had to go see Adam. I had to.
Once I was dressed in a pair of jeans, a plain black T-shirt, and my sneakers, I was out the door. I caught a taxi to my brother’s place. When I knocked, I heard him shuffle inside before he opened the door. My breath caught. I wanted to hug him. After seeing my father, I needed to, but I didn’t. I respected his space.
“Hey,” I muttered. “Can I come in?”
Adam looked me up and down. “Yeah,” he said. When the door closed behind us, he walked after me. “You’re not all dressed up today.”
“Guess I didn’t feel like it,” I mumbled.
Adam frowned. “What’s the matter?”
I wiped a hand down my face. Yes, I needed to tell him. To make sure he knew how real the danger was getting. I finally moved deeper into the apartment and leaned against the wall. Adam stared at me.
“What the fuck? You’re worrying me.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered. “Régis is in town. I know you know but… he set up a gala and tricked me into going to it. I-I don’t want you here alone anymore.”
Adam’s face had collapsed into a cool mask, but I saw the tremor underneath it. He crossed to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pills. I watched as he shook out two pills and chewed them. Probably the antianxiety meds he lived on now. When he came back, he sucked in a breath.
“That’s a problem, but I don't have anywhere else to go.”
“What?” I asked, my voice flat. “You know you have somewhere else to go! I have a place.”
“You have a husband,” Adam shot back. “A life. A home.”
“Why won’t you ever let me help you?” I snapped. “Every single time I offer for you to come with me, to stop isolating yourself, you shut me down!”
“Because I’m not going to ruin your fucking life more than I already have!” he yelled. “You’re over here all the time. You have no friends. And honestly, when I see you, I’m miserable, Louis. All I can think about is how much of your life I’ve ruined. What am I supposed to do? Come see you be happy with Lucero while I die inside?”
“Adam…”
“You have a life to live,” he snapped. “And I won’t be the reason you don’t live it. I hate myself enough. You really want me to hate myself more?”
I sucked in a shaky breath. My chest ached, the pain spreading as I looked at him. The way it hung in the air made me flinch. So many words filled my lips, but they fell away. What was I supposed to say to that?
“Just go home, Louis,” he said quietly. “If Régis comes after me, he comes. It’s not like I don’t know he hates me. You’ve done everything you can.”
Except I hadn’t. If I had killed the bastard years ago, he wouldn’t be here now destroying me and Adam without ever even touching us. I stared at my brother and swallowed hard. I wanted to punch him. For the first time in ages. I knew he was hurting, but fuck, wasn’t I allowed to hurt too?
“Fine,” I muttered. “I’ll make sure you’ve got food and then I’ll go.”
Even if I was upset, I was going to take care of Adam. I didn’t care how he acted. He could get mad. I was going to take care of him whether he wanted me to or not. That’s how family worked.
Shit. If Lucero had just heard me say those words out loud he would have grinned and been like,see I told you.God, that giant man is messing me up.
