Page 85 of Blood & Lace
"Fuck me."
I reached down, my fingers undoing his pants quickly. When his cock was in my hand, I moaned and shifted down to take him into my mouth. Just when my lips were near it, Lucero yanked me back up.
"No."
I blinked at him. "No? What the fuck do you mean, no?"
He stuffed himself back into his pants. "I mean what I said. No." Lucero zipped his pants up.
"What the fuck? Since when? Why not?" I demanded.
Usually Lucero was ready to jump on me the minute he saw me. This time, however, it was like he was scared of me. I watched as he moved back, a frown on my face.
"Lucero, what the fuck?" I asked. "Why are you doing this?"
"You're drunk," he muttered. "I'll wait until you sober up."
I stared at him, my jaw going slack. "What the fuck are you talking about? Who cares if I'm drunk! I want to fuck."
"No," he said. "You want to bury whatever is going on in your head. I don't want to have sex like that. Not with you."
I stared for a long time. It was hard not to feel completely rejected. All I wanted was to be held, to forget about everything that was happening and feel good. But, apparently, I couldn't even have that.
"Fine," I snapped.
I threw a tantrum and plopped onto the bed. I didn't give a damn if I was being childish, I wanted what I wanted. And I couldn't have it. I burrowed underneath the blankets and stuffed my head under the pillow. For a while, the room was quiet, and then the bed sagged. Lucero's hand ran up and down my back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said, my words muffled.
All my horniness had dissolved quickly. I clutched the pillow as my brain started screaming at me again.
Pathetic. Useless. Adam hates you. Lucero hates you. Nobody wants to be around you. Idiot.
I pressed my hands against my ears and tried to get the loathing out, but it only dug in deeper. There was no way not to hear it when it was in my fucking head. My stomach turned. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.
"It's okay," Lucero said, his voice cutting through the noise in my brain. "Come here."
Lucero hugged me against his big body. I leaned against him, tucking my face into his chest. As I snuggled close, his big hand cradled the back of my head and he placed a kiss in my hair. I wasn't sure if I was still pissed or if I just wanted to give in.
I passed out in his arms.
*********
I shot up and immediately regretted it. My head throbbed, my eyes felt heavy, and there was something disgusting in the back of my throat. I made a face.
"Ow."
"You're up," Lucero said, appearing in the doorway. "I was just coming to get you. I made breakfast. Do you want it in here or at the table?"
I blinked at him. "When the hell did I get back home?"
He stared. "Last night. You texted me to come get you."
Right, I had. After talking to Cara. And that was the very last thing that I remembered. Damn it.I have got to stop drinking. Who blacks out every single time?
A little bit of alcohol was great. But as soon as I took one shot too many, I was gone.
