Page 153 of Wingwoman
Why was I fighting this so hard? What was I so afraid of?
I scooped the spilled coffee grounds into the dustpan and dumped them in the garbage. “What the hell would that even look like? I wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit me in the ass.”
“You dumbass,” Matt said. “Youhadthe healthy relationship. You had it for four weeks. And you spent most of it wondering when and how you could end it and break your own heart. But in the process, you not only broke yours… but you broke Hope’s, you broke Maggie's… and you broke mine.” He paused, glancing down at Cash who gave a little whimper and cocked his head at us. "Hell, I think you even broke the goddamn dog's heart. And Cash was the happiest dog I’d ever seen before Hope left.”
I looked up, seeing my best friend for the first time in over a week. I mean,trulyseeing him. He looked as rough as I did.
Mussed hair, dark shadows beneath his bloodshot eyes. Sallow, gaunt cheekbones. “Shit,” I muttered. “I’m sorry. No word from Maggie yet either?”
He shook his head. “Your little outburst at the studio tipped her off. And as soon as she found out I had dated her friend Jackie and had this secret intel on her hiring Hope, she took off. Refusing to answer my calls and texts.”
“I’m sorry.” He was right… that was my fault too. If I hadn’t opened my big mouth, she never would have found out about that.
Matt waved my apology off. “I should have told her sooner. If you hadn’t spilled the beans, Jackie would have eventually. I’m blaming you, but it’s my own damn fault for lying to her.” He paused, his grip on my granite counters tightening. “And I shouldn’t have lied to you either. Sorry for that, buddy.”
“Please don’t apologize. Not after everything I’ve done.”
Matt stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. “No apologies then. From either of us.”
I clapped him on the back and pulled away, wiping the mist from my eyes. “At least not to each other. Sounds like you might owe one to Maggie.”
“Yeah, if she’ll ever take my calls again.”
“She will.”
He popped a brow higher. “How do you know?”
I shrugged. “She’s a romantic. You’ve just got to come up with a grand gesture.”
“And what about Hope?”
“Hope’s not a romantic. She’s a cynic, like me.”
Matt tapped his palm to my chest. “Then I guess you’ll have to try harder than a simple grand gesture. Maybe start by writing that happy music, huh?”
I rolled my eyes and started the coffee again. “You’re just saying that because you want my new record finished.”
“Guilty.”
“Besides, how the hell am I supposed to write music about being happily in love when… well, we’re not.”
“You’re still in love, Josh. Whether or not you’re with her. And from what I saw, you had a notebook filled with potential lyrics when you two were together. Start there.”
Start there. Like it’s that easy.
Even still, I plopped down on my couch with my guitar and Cash curled up on the other end while I strummed. Closing my eyes, I pictured Hope, trying to remember better times together. Happier times.
There was a whisper of a melody. Something bright and optimistic that didn’t at all fit me or who I am… or rather,was. Hell, it didn’t even fit Hope. I was faking it. Forcing it.
I squeezed my eyes tighter and kept forging forward. There was a song here, goddammit. Hope and I were happy together… so why couldn’t I put that into a sound?
Frustrated, my ringtone pulled me out of my abyss.
I blinked, first struck by the time… midnight. Damn, I’d been at this for almost two hours. But secondly, I noticed Nina’s name blinking on my caller ID.
I swiped my thumb across the screen and answered hesitantly. “Nina? What’s wrong?”
“Josh!” A deep voice bellowed.
