Page 102 of Wingwoman
I tugged her hand, lifting her up a little and pulled her onto my lap.
She was on her knees, straddling me. Her softest parts nestled against my hardest parts. My eyes fell to her soft mouth and I scooped my hands into her silky hair, tugging the hair tie from it. Long caramel hair tumbled down her back and over her shoulders.
“Noted,” I whispered. “I will find a way to both not ignore fans or you.” I’d foolishly thought the way I’d defended her in front of those girls would have been enough. I’d claimed her in front of them. Chose her.
But it wasn’t enough. I could see that now. She didn’t trust fans. She didn’t trust fame.
“You don’t owe me that. We’re not arealcouple—” She shook her head, trying to scoot away from me, but I held her firmly in place on my lap.
“Stop saying that. We’re real, Hope. Very, very real.”
Her breath hitched at my words, but I had to say it. She had to know—to understand—that my feelings for her weren’t a fake.
“You’rereallymy muse,” I said, ignoring her panic-stricken face. “There’s nothing fake about this. About my feelings for you. I don’t expect those feelings to be fully reciprocated, but know that on my end? There’s not a damn thing that’s fake here.”
Her eyes searched mine for a long moment. “That’s hard to believe when a sizable deposit was made into my bank account the other day.”
I nodded in acknowledgment and took a shaky breath. This wasn’t easy to admit. Almost impossible to say out loud, especially after how my relationship with Jenn ended.
“Despite paying you, my feelings for you are very real, Hope. It’s okay you don’t feel the same way about me. Honestly, I don’t expect you to.” I paused, gathering myself.
I wasn’t exaggerating. Somewhere along the way in the past few weeks, I really had started falling for Hope. There was always something magnetic about her, but now? Now I was downright infatuated with her. To an unhealthy level.
“How can you say that?” she whispered. “How can you want to be with someone you don’t expect to ever love you back?” Inky black lashes fanned across the tops of her sun-kissed cheeks, dotted with freckles.
Pain twisted in my chest. She’d all but admitted it right then and there that she didn’t reciprocate my feelings.
I closed my eyes, swallowing that pain. Savoring it.
Cataloging it for later so I could write it into a song.
“You inspire me,” I whispered. “How can I not be infatuated with a woman as smart, motivated, strong, and interesting as you? How could I not fall in love with a diamond? I want you even though you don’t want me because I know deep down it’s better if you don’t.”
“Why?” One word. One word that traveled on the lightest exhale of her breath.
“Because…” But it was the one question I couldn’t answer for her. The one piece of myself I couldn’t reveal without seeing her run for the hills. So instead, I answered as best and honestly as I could. “Because love is toxic. And I want you to ruin me before I destroy you—”
Before I could finish my sentence, her lips were on mine.
Twenty-Eight
HOPE
I kissed him.
I kissed him in the hay where the horses were our only witnesses.
It was unlike any kiss I’d ever had in my life. Even better than the first time we kissed.
His hands were on my face, cupping my jaw tenderly. Air rushed from my lungs and as I gasped, he captured the moment, nudging my lips wider and gliding his tongue against mine.
My entire body buzzed with desire.
His words said he didn’t want my affection. Or my love. But his kiss said otherwise.
Love is toxic. Ruin me before I destroy you.
His words were beautiful. Poetry, even though they were cryptic.
