Page 93 of Shortcake
I closed my eyes. On one hand, I appreciated her being honest with me. On the other, knowing this was something she did regularly? Definitely did not appreciate that. Then, she continued, “To go out alone like that in a town I didn’t know? It was stupid.”
“Reallystupid,” I corrected her.
“Really, really stupid,” she agreed.
“You used to drink in New York, too?”
I found myself completely torn between feelings of rage and betrayal vs. the relief that Harper was finally talking to me. Really talking to me. Not just grunting one-word answers to my questions.
Exhausted, I lowered myself to sit on her bed and staring at my daughter as she worried her lip nervously. “Yeah. I mean, it was usually with Steph. And they were pretty safe. Like, they always had a DS.”
“DS?”
“Designated Sober. You know, since no one in the city drives, but they still had one sober person in the group to make sure everyone was safe and accounted for.”
I nodded even though her words were coming at me like I was in an echo chamber.
I wasn’t sure how long I was silent for, but it must have been a decent amount of time. I felt the bed next to me dip as Harper sat down, too.
“Am I inmoretrouble for telling you that?” she asked, her voice small.
Lungs pinched and throat tight, I squeezed my burning eyes shut as my mind raced.
Addy’s story about her manicure dates with her mom popped into my head.My mom made a rule that anything I told her during the manicure was a free pass. I could tell her anything I had done or anything I was feeling, and I wouldn’t get in trouble. She kept to that rule, too, even when I knew it killed her.
“No,” I finally said, and I was surprised I meant it. “I’ve actually been thinking… you and I used to go fishing in Coney Island. Remember that?”
Harper’s brows pinched together, but she nodded all the same.
“And you had fun fishing with your old man, right?”
She gave a little laugh, but shrugged. “Yeah. We had fun. Though back then, I think it had more to do with the Nathan’s hotdogs and cotton candy than the actual fishing.”
“What if we did that again?” I asked. “Not in Coney Island, of course, but here. We have a whole lake with God knows how many fish out there to catch. We could make a date for once or twice a month. Just you and me. And the fish.”
Harper’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’d like that.” I could sense the hesitancy radiating off her. I didn’t answer her question. And never in her life had she ever seen me react to her breaking the rules with anything other than yelling and grounding her.
Even though my heart was pounding, and my throat was so knotted up, it was like I’d developed a peanut allergy, I pushed forward. “And while we’re on our fishing date, you’re in a safe zone,” I said.
“Safe zone?”
“Yeah. In that time, you can tell me anything and I promise you won’t get in trouble. No groundings. No yelling.”
“No lectures?” her voice pitched high as she seemed to get more excited than I would have liked at this prospect.
I chuckled. “I can’t promise that I won’t voice my feelings or opinions over what you tell me. That’s what the fishing time will be good for. Talking things out calmly. And I can’t promise to like everything you say or be happy with it. Like this, for instance. Learning that you and your cousin would get drunk together? I don’t love it. I’m not happy about it. But you’re not in trouble, Harper.”
She didn’t say anything, but merely exhaled a long, slow breath. “Wow. You’re like… a new dad here in Maple Grove.”
Smiling, I bumped my shoulder gently against hers. “You’ve kind of changed, yourself.”
“Yeah, I guess I have. I thought this town was going to be lame and boring, but I think Addy might be one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I know what you mean.”
My stomach twisted. It was the perfect segue. The perfect lead in to tell her about me and Addy. But I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that by telling her about dating Addy, Harper might interpret this new fishing idea as a weird way to butter her up. Like I was sucking up to win her over. And that wasn’t what this was. Not at all.
Maybe the timingwasn’tright today.
