Page 139 of Shortcake
Only… he didn’t squeeze my hand back. He didn’t curl an arm around my waist and pull me into him.
He stood there. Like a statue. Not even. Hell, a statue would’ve had more warmth than him right now.
Concern laced up my belly and edged its way into my throat as I pulled back to look up at his eyes. They were vacant. Staring off into the distance.
Then, slowly, painfully, he lowered his gaze to mine. I was met with the cold, dark blue gaze that could have just as easily been connected to a stranger rather than the man I’d been dating and falling in love with for the last couple of months.
Apathy and disconnection stared back at me, cold and blue, like a night’s sky during a blizzard. “Conrad?” My voice was small.
His jaw twitched. “This never should have happened,” he muttered.
“I-I’m sorry I didn’t check on her sooner. I just thought she needed—”
“Space. I know. But goddammit, I’m her dad. And I didn’t want to give her that space. This wouldn’t have happened if I’d been here. If I’d handled it how I wanted to before you came into our lives.”
I sprang back from his venomous words.
This was not the man I’d been dating.
This was old Conrad.
“It’s not your fault,” he mumbled and turned away from me, massaging the back of his neck. “You’renota parent. And while some of your advice has been helpful, I should have known better than to listen to everything you said. I should have known that you’re not some sort of–of prophet with all the answers just because back in the day, you were an angry kid like she is.”
A wave of emotion slammed into me—anger, sadness, embarrassment—because while I didn’t agree with everything he was saying, I also knew he wasn’t entirely wrong. Some of thiswasmy fault. I didn’t check on her sooner. I convinced him to give her space. Hell, even us getting caught at the precinct was my fault.
I wanted to respond, but Conrad kept talking. “These last few days, Harper hasn’t been well. She’s needed me and I just haven’t been there like I should have. I think I need to step back…”
I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Of course.” Conrad just needed a break. Time to regroup and make sure he and Harper were on solid ground. I understood that. “Take all the time you need. I’ll make myself scarce. I’ll leave you two to do your own thing at dinner. Then, when you’re in a better place—”
“Addy.” The way he said my name sent ice spearing into my veins. “I’m not talking about a small break. Harper has made her feelings about us loud and clear. And now with this stuff with her mom? She’s not ready for this. She’s not ready for me to have a girlfriend. And she’s my life.”
Tears filled my eyes and my sinuses grew full and hot. “I talked with Harper today. She’s come around to the idea of us. She even seemed excited—”
“Until the next time one of us pisses her off. And then what? She runs away? We go through this all over again?” He sounded exhausted. Defeated. “And what if you and I don’t last? She’ll be crushed. She already looks at you like you’re her best friend. Now imagine two years from now if we break up how destroyed she’ll be.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “How destroyedshe’llbe? Or how destroyedyou’llbe? Because in two years, she’ll be an adult.”
“Even at 18, she’s still my baby.”
“Yeah… she’s your baby. But notababy.”
“I don’t expect you to understand. You’re not—”
“A parent,” I snapped. “Yeah, I know. You never let me forget it.”
He completely ignored my outburst. “Harper has made it clear she isn’t emotionally ready for me to date.”
“And this hasnothingto do with the fact that just this morning you saw your pregnant and newlywed ex who walked out on you and Harper?”
He shook his head. So calm. So controlled. So emotionless. Here I thought we’d been falling in love, but maybe it was all one-sided. If he could end this with barely a twitch of his jaw, then maybe it wasn’t a relationship worth fighting for.
I squeezed my eyes shut. “What are you saying?” I whispered.
I needed to hear the words. I needed to hear exactly what he was saying, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Without that, I wasn’t sure I would believe it.
I needed him not just to break my heart, but to pulverize it into dust. Otherwise, I would always try to super glue the pieces back together.
Slowly, I peeled my eyes open to find his searching mine. But still, he didn’t speak. He didn’t say the words.
