Page 119 of Hound Dog
“I do care about you—”
I turned and walked away from him mid-sentence. Finn Evans had broken my heart six years ago. But that was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.
“You know,” I said, sniffling as I grabbed my purse. “I’m finally realizing how right you were six years ago to not show up on that rooftop.”
His expression sank. “What?”
“You were right,” I repeated, trying and failing miserably to keep the tremble out of my voice. “You knew you couldn’t give me what I wanted… which, let’s both be honest, has always been more than just sex. So, you did the noble thing and walked away. I couldn’t see it that way back then. But I see it now.”
“So… you understand?”
I understand you’re a coward,I thought.
I wasn’t sure if I was more hurt or angry. But it didn’t matter. Finn and I were over. “I understand that I deserve love. Real love. Toe curling love. But most of all— returned love. So yeah. I understand.”
I flung my purse over my shoulder and headed toward the door.
If I didn’t leave now, I wasn’t sure I could.
“Haylee,” he said, stopping me just before I reached the front door.
I turned to face him, studying the desperate look in his eyes. It wasn’t the look of a man who wanted to give up on us.
Hope bloomed in my chest at the sight of his face. Heart thumping, chest tight, I awaited what he was going to say.
Outside, a symphony of nature serenaded us from outside the window. Crickets chirped. An owl hooted somewhere in the woods. The light sounds of splashing from a fish jumping in the lake.
Finally, his throat bobbed with a swallow. “Happy birthday,” he whispered.
And with those two words, my hope was crushed. I felt both a sob and a scream pulsing low in my throat, clogging it, wanting to escape.
He held my eyes for a long breath.
Then, two breaths.
We were only a handful of feet apart, but it might as well have been miles.
I waited, hoping he would change his mind or give me something.
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t.
So, without responding, I turned and left.
Because it was all that was left to do.
I wasn’t sure if Finn could ever love me the way I deserved. I wasn’t sure if the demons he was fighting would still be there in a month or a year. Or forever.
But one thing was for sure. I had to stop believing that love would patch everything. That it would save people. It didn’t save my mom. Or my dad.
And being in a relationship didn’t save me.
I’d thought I needed that support, but the truth was, I’d been doing it alone all along. Being with Ben didn’t help me graduate. It didn’t start my vocal coach business. It didn’t help me take care of Meryl.
Love didn’t save me.
Isaved me.
