Page 93 of Sugarlips
“Don’t talk about her like that. You don’t even know her.”
His palms flew to his forehead and he rubbed across his face. “That’s what you’re choosing to focus on when I say Iloveyou? I tell you that the woman who’s supposed to be your best friend tried to kiss me, when she knows how close we are, and you’re seriously going to stand there and defend her?”
My brain was muddy. Like I was swimming beneath the surface of a murky lake, trying to open my eyes underwater. “There’s nothing to defend. You’re both free to fuck whomever you want.”
His gaze hardened into steel, and for the first time ever, I saw pure, undiluted anger in his eyes. Directed atme. “That’s bullshit. I know youknowthat’s bullshit. I wouldn’t want to talk to Tanja for more than a minute any given day, let alone fuck her.”
“Luckily there’s no talking inthat.” I bit my cheek, trying to muster up anger that mirrored his. I fell short, though. Instead, all I felt was the pinch of loneliness. “And whatever happens—or doesn’t happen—between you and any woman is none of my business. Because we’re not involved.”
“But weareinvolved! Even if the public ‘relationship’ we have is bullshit and a publicity stunt, we were involved the moment you kissed me in your foyer months ago.” Even though what he said was totally true, his tone and the way he put finger quotes around the wordrelationshiphurt like a punch to the gut. “Pretending we’re not involved doesn’t do jack shit to negate the truth in that. And I’m fucking sick of pretending with you. I’m sick of pretending to be your boyfriend when cameras are on or people are watching, only to pretend I’m not madly in love with you behind the scenes when it’s just the two of us.”
“Can’t you see there’s too much on the line! You’re my best friend, and we’re in business together, and I wouldruinyou. I would ruin us! Everything we have, everything we’ve built, I would find a way to fuck it up. I don’t think I could survive that… Ineedyou.” My voice cracked, but I couldn’t cry in front of him. The moment I did, it would all be over. He took a step closer, reaching out for me, and I quickly countered the movement, stepping back so fast that my spine slammed into the wall behind me. I couldn’t let him come any closer. Because he’d want to hold me… and I’dlethim. It would feel so damn good to be loved by Liam. Which only meant it would destroy me to be dumped by Liam.
“You could never ruin me, Chloe.” A moment of understanding swept his face. “But I guess that’s the big difference between us,” he said. “I love you. I want to work with you. I want to be with you.” He took a step back, his broad chest thick and clenched along with his fists at his sides. “If this ends, I’ll be broken-hearted and I’ll miss you. But I don’tneedyou. There’s a big difference.” He bent, retrieving his messenger bag from the rack beside the door before crossing to stand in front of me once more. “I love you, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me. I need to know if you really love me… or if you just love having a crutch.”
His hands fell gently to my shoulders and I swayed into his body, succumbing to his embrace. He pressed a final, soft kiss to my forehead before turning and walking out.
36
Chloe
Iagonized for hours over whether or not I should show up at 4:00 a.m. to Beefcakes to help Liam bake. It was technically my morning off, but it wasn’t like I was able to sleep anyway. I’d basically sat in bed, staring at my ceiling, wonderingwhat the hell do I do now?
I made it to 7:45 before I was standing out in front of Beefcakes, my feet frozen solid to the ground. There was no line outside, thank God.
It took another five minutes of standing there until I finally launched myself through the door.
Only, it wasn’t Liam behind the counter—it was Finn. Even though Finn wasn’t supposed to be working today. It was Liam’s day to bake and open all by himself.
“Is Liam okay?” I blurted the question without thinking. My cheeks heated and I took a quick glance around the café. Only one customer stood in the corner and Finn quickly handed her a white paper bag and a coffee cup.
“There you go,” he said with a smile. “Have a beefy day!”
I scrunched my nose. God, I hoped that didn’t stick. But I had a lot more to worry about than terrible catchphrases. Once she was gone, I tried again. “Is he—”
“He’s fine,” Finn interrupted.
Relief softened my shoulders, but was quickly replaced by more questions, more concerns.
“Well, in a manner of speaking, he’s fine,” Finn clarified.
“Is he at home?” I needed to find him. I needed to see his face, talk to him, and know that he was okay. Because I sure as hell wasn’t.
Finn shrugged. “Not sure. He called me last night asking if I could fill in today.”
I gulped. “Is that all he said?”
“More or less. My brother’s not really a ‘pass the sharing stick’ kind of guy.”
“The Liam I know is. He tells me almost everything.”
Finn’s brow arched. “Does he?”
I love you. If this ends, I’ll be broken-hearted and I’ll miss you. But I don’t need you, Chloe.
His words resonated in my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut against the echo of his voice. “Yes.”
“Well… by that logic, if he tells you everything and hewantedyou to know where he was this morning, then you would know already.”
