Page 24 of Healing You
Nibbler peeked out from beside Cam's leg, and seeing Steve, he charged—all full of spit, vinegar, and pure puppy adrenaline. He jumped onto his hind legs, nearly bowling Steve over. The labradoodle had scraggly, curly long hair that flopped into his eyes like a surfer dude after a day at the beach.
“Hey, big guy.” He scratched beneath the scruff of Nibbler's chin, and the dog delivered a sloppy kiss before bumbling his way down around the house toward the docks.
Seeing the puppy reminded him of Yvonne. Again. Amanda and Carrie had helped him get the dog from Eve's rescue last month, before he was back on speaking terms with her. When the puppy came in for a routine neuter, Steve felt it was just the dog for Cam, Lydia, and Maddie. The dog didn't shed. He had energy to play and young enough to live a long life. Wicked smart and great with kids. And he'd lived with Yvonne. Damn near everything was reminding him of Yvonne these days.
“Can I help get the burgers going?” Steve asked.
“They're taken care of. I always keep patties in the fridge, ready for a grill day. You never know in the summertime when people will just pop in.” Cam elbowed his younger brother and tossed him a russet potato. “We'll throw some potatoes in foil though, and toss them on, too.”
They walked around to the back porch together. “Remind me again why I don't come over here more often for meals?”
Cam slung an arm around his shoulders and Steve examined his older sibling carefully. Other than their blue eyes and dimples, the two couldn't look more different. Cam had dark, almost curly hair, wore nothing but Hanes white T-shirts, and resembled their father almost exactly. Steve had fair hair, thick but on the straighter side, looked just like his Ma, and sported a tie almost every workday. And yet, personality-wise? Reverse that. Cam was just like Ma, and Steve, for better or worse, was just like his dad. In everything, down to his near-death experience.
One hour and two burgers later, Steve reclined in the deck chair overlooking the lake as Nibbler jumped in and out of the water, trying to catch fish. His brother had sunglasses covering his eyes, his face angled at the beating sun. This was turning out to be a pretty good day. Fight outside of Lex's aside, it had ended somewhat playfully. And if Yvonne would agree to go on this run with him later? It could go from good to great.
Or it could result in another blow out fight in the middle of the town square. It could result in trudging up past pain and memories that should long be left buried. He felt good with her. It felt right. But just because biting into that rich chocolate felt momentarily incredible, didn't mean you wouldn't get a cavity later.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Cam asked, disrupting his thoughts.
“Temptations.”
“That temptation wouldn't happen to be a blonde with a penchant for helping the four-legged variety, would it?”
“And if I said yes?”
Cam was quiet for a moment, looking out at the lake as Nibbler splashed around. “Hell if I know, man. I'm not gonna lie… since after your accident, she hasn't exactly been my favorite person. But what do I know? I only just barely got my shit back together a few months ago.”
“Good—because I wasn't sure how much longer I could pretend to hold mine together for your sake.”
“What are you talking about? You've got it together. You're one of the smartest guys I know. You've got a successful practice. Friends. Family—”
“I've got siblings. And Ma. I don't have a family like you have a family.” Steve looked around at the life his brother had built. Hell, the second life he'd built, in a way. A daughter. A soon-to-be-wife. This seemed like happiness. And it seemed light years away from anything Steve could obtain.
“Yeah, I finally have it. After doing everything possible to push away a second chance at love.”
Steve swallowed hard. Not only had Cam found intense love once... but after Maddie's mom, his first wife, died, he managed to find it twice. “Some people get lucky.” Twice. “Others of us, don't.”
“You haven't exactly been open to love, ya know?”
“I go on dates,” Steve said, suddenly defensive.
“I'm sure you do. But I sure as hell haven't met any of them. For all I know, you became a monk after Yvonne.”
It was true. Even though his body hadn't abstained, his heart sure as hell had. “She basically said she wasn't sure she could ever forgive me. And if I was her? I don't know that I could either.”
Cam grew quiet, his head slowly shaking. He took a quick sip of beer, swallowing it down. “It was an accident. One that the police ruled wasn't even your fault.”
Steve snorted at that. Yeah... on the books it wasn't. But he knew better. He was at fault, even if records didn't show that. If he had been paying more attention to the road and not focusing on Yvonne's lips on his neck, he could have seen that driver swerve into his lane. He could have seen the deer on the other side of the road. He could have been driving slower. Could have, could have, could have.
“And after the accident? She wrote some horrible things to you. You deserve to receive an apology as much to give one.”
“How many people have you almost killed, Cam?”
His brother sighed, looking out to the lake. “That's not—”
“None,” Steve answered for him. “You've never almost killed anyone. You don't know the sort of guilt that it comes with.”
“All I'm saying is that she wasn't an innocent party in all of it, either. How long are you going to beat yourself up over this?”
