Page 40 of Remembering You
“I’m a modern woman… I can work and be pregnant. I can go back to my job at the hospital after maternity leave is over.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you’ll resent me for pushing you into something faster than you wanted. And I don’t want to be one of those old dads whose back hurts too much to play catch with his kids. I want to be able to enjoy them. Run around with them, not watch from a rocking chair.”
I rolled my eyes at Jim. “You’re twenty-nine… not seventy.”
Even though he smiled, it was short lived, replaced quickly by his frown. “You know what I mean.”
I gulped and swiped away an errant tear from my jaw. “So let me get this straight. Last night, you told me all our firsts would also be our lasts. You made it sound like you were falling in love with me. But the truth was… you were only falling in love with the idea of me. You love the idea of a child you don’t even have yet more than you love me?”
Again, he winced. “Marty, please don’t see it that way—”
“There is no other way to see it,” I whispered. Jim moved to hold my jaw again… only this time, I took a step back and pointed to the door. “I think you should leave.”
“Marty, please. Don’t end it like this—”
“I want to make this very clear. I’m not ending anything… you are. And if you’re not going to choose me over the idea of what your perfect family and perfect life looks like in your head, then I want you to leave. I may be ten years younger than you, but I’m also emotionally far more mature than that. And I deserve someone who wantsme, not just some notion of what he believes a family is. I deserve someone who is willing to wait for me to fulfill my dreams.”
He licked his lips and nodded. “You’re right. You do deserve that guy.” He grabbed his shirt from off the floor and tugged it overhead as he made his way to my front door. “And he’s not me.”
A million regrets flooded my mind and my stomach twisted as I watched him open the front door. The front door that he built. Would I ever be able to look around my own home and not think of him? He invaded every crevice of this place. My heart ached. My stomach flipped as he stepped outside, leaving my home. Leaving my life. “Jim, wait.”
He turned, hopeful, staring at me. In that moment, I wanted to run to him, leap into his arms, and never let go. But I couldn’t. I was right in what I said… I did deserve better. I grabbed the W2 off the counter and pushed it into his chest. “I also deserve to be paid for the work I’ve done, so don’t forget this.”
