Page 39 of Remembering You
“Which are?”
He swallowed and I watched as the line of his throat visibly tightened with the movement. “Sadness,” he said. “Disappointment. I don’t want this to be over, but I don’t see how we can keep seeing each other.”
“Why?” Sure, I was a little shaken that he was that much older than me, but I didn’t think it was a deal breaker.
He grunted and shook his head. “Marty, I was drinking legally while you were still playing with Barbie dolls.”
“So?”
His eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. So what? There’s an age gap.” I shrugged. “It doesn’t change the fact that I like you.”
“I like you, too.” He said, softer. “A lot. But an age gap comes with a lot of other issues.”
I crossed my arms. “Like what? Let’s hear it. Because my virginity isn’t a problem anymore… nor was that a problem for you last night.”
He winced as I said that and I almost felt bad. Almost. But I had a point to prove here and I didn’t want it to get lost. More importantly, I didn’t want to lose him over this. “Okay,” he said. “You’re still in school.”
“Again… nothing you didn’t know already yesterday. Next.”
“No… not next.” He held up a finger, as though the action could drive the point home. “Yesterday, I figured you had a semester or two left of college. That’s all. You have years left of school.”
“How does that change anything?”
“It’s a different type of adulthood when you have a full-time job and are paying your bills. School is great and don’t get me wrong… it’s hard work. But it’s a different life stage than what I’m in.”
I narrowed my gaze at him and shook my head. “You’re reaching with that one. It’s different… but not all that different. Besides, I am both a student and an employed person.” I glanced at the crutches that I hadn’t used yet today leaning against the counter where we had left them last night. “Or at least I will be when I start working at the hospital.”
“You’re… inexperienced.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I thought we already established you can’t use that against me.”
“I’m not,” he said, softening his voice yet again. If I weren’t in the midst of fighting for us, that tone would have made me melt into a puddle at his feet. “I’m not trying to use any of this against you. But this isn’t just about sexual inexperience. How many boyfriends have you had? How many dates have you been on?”
I swallowed and felt the color drain from my face. The real answer was one… but I wasn’t even sure that would count in his eyes since it was a high school boyfriend. “I—uh, not… not many.”
“Exactly,” he whispered. “Last night, I thought you were a virgin. A little inexperienced… but I had assumed you’d at least dated. Had a couple boyfriends that just weren’t right for you. How can you know I’m the right person for you if I’m the only person you’ve ever been with, Marty?”
“Lots of people end up with their first,” I said. Tears choked in my throat, but I swallowed them back. The last thing I wanted was to cry in front of him. It would just prove how right he was. How immature I was if I couldn’t keep my emotions in check.
“And lots more people these days are getting divorced.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to end up in that statistic. And I don’t want you to cheat on me or do something that both of us will hate and regret.”
My eyes widened. “I would never cheat on you.”
“It’s easy to say that now. But what about five years from now when you start wishing you had sewed some oats before settling down? I’ve had those years already. You haven’t.”
“I am not Sheila!” I cried.
He cupped my jaw and slid his thumb over an escaped tear. “I know you’re not Sheila, Marty. But I can’t repeat the same mistakes. I’m ready to get serious. Fall in love. Get married… have children. You’re not ready for that.”
It wasn’t even a question. He was right… I wasn’t ready for that. “I—I would want to finish school first,” I whispered.
“Exactly.”
I blinked, looking up at him through my tears that I had given up trying to restrict. And damn if his eyes weren’t also misty. “And you’re not willing to wait for me to finish school? A measly three years before we marry and have kids?”
For the first time since we began this conversation, he seemed startled, like he was truly considering what I said. “Three years would be a minimum, Marty. When you graduate, are you really going to want to start a career at the same time you start a family?”
