Page 61 of Sweet on You
All that peace we had established tonight and in the last few hours tensed inside me. “Sarah?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
“Oh, Olivia’s mum. She’s in jail right now awaiting trial for stealing cars.”
My blood ran icy. How did I not consider that Lex’s ex would be in the picture here? Of course she would… he has achildwith her. I gulped and looked down at my finger, picking at my cuticles nervously. Lex is not Brandon. Just because I had one boyfriend leave me and lie about his feelings for an ex didn’t mean Lex would do that, too.
Anxiety spiked, making my heart race in my chest. Then again, Lex had a child with this woman. There was no escaping her. No matter what… no matter their feelings for each other, if he and I were going to date, I had to be okay with her. I had to find a way to trust him.
I blinked, looking over at him as he worried his bottom lip, staring at his feet.
“Would Sarah’s parents not want to split custody?”
Lex shook his head. “It seems like they’re tired. They want to be a part of Olivia’s life, but they don’t want to be her parents.”
That made sense. I’m sure my mom would raise Maddie if she had to, but she much preferred to be a grandparent rather than a guardian. “What doyouwant, Lex?” I asked.
He grew silent for several moments and I let him be alone with his thoughts. Had anyone asked him what he wanted in this situation? Had he even stopped to think about it?
“I… I want my daughter. I want her as often as I possibly can.” His voice cracked and he pressed his fist to his mouth, clearing his throat. “I’ve missed so much already. But I also don’t want to take her away from her grandparents and a life she’s familiar with.”
“She’s not even two, right?” He nodded. “Then now’s the time for her to get onto a new schedule. She hasn’t begun school. Routines can change for children as long as she still gets to see her grandparents and the things that she’s familiar with. She’ll be fine with the adjustments. It just may take some time.”
He lifted my hand from my knee and kissed my knuckle. “How’d you get so smart?”
I shrugged and gave him a smile. “My brother went through this with his daughter after his wife passed. It’s not easy, but kids are resilient. And at the end of the day, Olivia gets to have her dad in her life now.”No thanks to your ex, I thought, but swallowed my words.
He nodded. “You’re right. Of course you’re right. I know that. But I worry for her. I worry for the fact that this might be a constant battle between Sarah, me, and her parents.”
“It might be,” I whispered. “But the fact that they’re willing to start trying joint custody almost immediately without heading to family court? Take the blessings when they come, Lex. Because that’s incredible.”
He grinned. “It really is, isn’t it?”
“So… what happens next?” I asked.
“The blood work should come back next week. Bloody hell, I’m going to be losing my mind until then. We paid to have the lab work rushed, but it still will be at least a few days. And apparently, Olivia’s grandmother has a doctor’s appointment next Friday, so if it comes back by then, which it should, they agreed to let me take her for the afternoon and the evening and they’ll pick her up the following morning.”
The other question running through my mind went unasked.What happens next with us?It felt like our timing was always off. He had adaughterfor God’s sake. Lex’s life was about to flip on its head in ways he couldn’t even begin to expect. He might not even realize yet, but starting a new relationship while he’s on the verge of this new role of fatherhood? I was the last thing he needed to be worried about. I wasn’t where his focus needed to be. And at the risk of sounding like a bitch, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I hadn’t had a boyfriend in years. I liked Lex. A lot. But I wasn’t sure if I was willing to take a backseat when it came to love.
It was selfish. Because between his daughter and myself? His daughter should absolutely come first. Every time. It wasn’t fair to him. But I also wasn’t sure if this was fair to me either.
At least on the outside, Lex seemed to not be worrying about any of this. He looked thrilled, and for the first time in months—hell, maybe in the whole two years I’d known him—he seemed to relax. He fell back in his chair, a smile on his face and his shoulders dropped from where they’d been tensed around his ears.
“I’m so happy for you,” I said, swallowing the tears that filled my throat. And I meant that. Every word. Because I was. No matter what happened between him and me, I was thrilled he was getting his daughter back. And as his friend, I would celebrate that with him, no matter what it meant for us.
Lex cupped my jaw, drawing my mouth to his in a slow, lingering kiss. When he pulled away, it was like he was reading my mind. “I can’t promise you that I have answers, Ronnie. But I know that I want to keep dating you. I want to figure out a way to be both a dad and a new boyfriend to you. I don’t want to screw up either… as long as you’re willing to bear with me while I get a solid footing on both.”
I nodded and swallowed. “Of course. I want that, too.”
I believed he wanted both. But I also knew that that little girl of his would take priority—as she should. And if something were to happen. If it came down to too much stress or that life was overwhelming, I was going to be the person he cut from his life. I was going to be left with no one. Because no matter what, he would have his little girl.
I didn’t blame him for that. That’s how it should be.
But I couldn’t help that hollow feeling at the pit of my gut that Lex and I were doomed from the start.
Steve came out from within the exam room, grinning from ear to ear, Yvonne just a step behind him. “Penny is ready for you. He did great.”
I smiled, a flood of tears falling from my eyes as I jumped to my feet and launched into the exam room, not waiting for Lex.
Penny’s tail thumped on the table, a bandage wrapped around his paw. “Hey buddy,” I said, pausing to rub his belly, and dropped my forehead to his.
