Page 101 of Sweet on You
“Are you kidding?” Lydia put her coffee down and tugged on my hand. “Ronnie, look at me.” I lifted my gaze to hers. “Hannah was like a supermom. And I’m a girl who can’t have children and didn’t have a maternal bone in my body before I met Cam and Maddie. I am constantly straddling that line between what’s appropriate for me to say and do and where I need to defer to Cam.”
She shook her head and her face grew blurry through the distortion of my tears. “Relationships are messy, Ronnie. Not everyone gets to marry their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after with zero fights and a white picket fence. Some of us have exes. Some of us have kids from other people, other marriages. Some of us have crazy ex-boyfriends who are stalkers.” She raised her hand in the air and pointed to herself. “And if you’re waiting for the perfect man and the perfect relationship with no baggage, then you’ll be waiting a damn long time, girl.”
“I know that,” I cried. “But what if Lex and I have children? What if this ex of his gets high aroundmykids someday? Or worse… what if she gets clean and then… and then Lex realizes he still loves her, and he wantsherto be his family. Not me.”
“Oh,” Lydia whispered, her eyes softening. “That’swhat this is about.” Her gold engagement ring pressed against the skin of my hand as she squeezed me tighter. “I see your what ifs and I raise you another… What if his ex manages to sober up and stay sober? What if she proves herself as a competent mother, giving you and Lex some nights off from raising Olivia all by yourself? What if his ex being in the picture turns out to be a good thing, not a bad thing?”
“You just said the fairy tale doesn’t always happen and now you’re telling me that she might sober up completely and become mother of the year?”
“What effed up fairy tales have you been reading that involve herion addicts and illegitimate children?”
I snorted a laugh and it was so unexpected, I nearly spat hot coffee out of my nose. “Now,that’sa Disney movie I’d love to see!”
Lydia handed me a napkin to wipe my eyes. “We canwhat ifourselves until we’re blue in the face. At some point, you just have to make the leap and try. There will always be anotherwhat ifscenario with whomever you end up with.” She paused. “You love Lex, right?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Go win him back!”
“It’s not that easy. I’d basically told him I couldn’t trust him anymore.
Lydia shook her head. “No… you told him you couldn’t trust his baby mamma… not him.”
“To Lex? It’s sort of the same thing. Because they’re both addicts.”
“That’s complicated.” Lydia sighed. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned joining the Tripp family, it’s that sometimes you need to do things simply to be a team player. Are you willing totryto trust her? And hope that she maybe surprises you?”
I blinked, staring up at Lydia. “Well… I’m not willing to lose Lex over this. Over her.”
“You know, I would kill to be able to talk with Hannah. To have known her, met her, have had a conversation with her. Maybe you would feel better if you could meet Sarah?”
Warmth filled me. “That’s… that’s true. Brandonneverlet me see his ex-wife. Never let me talk to her or know her. She was just like this entity that he would have to split his time with.” I hopped out of my seat, pushing the lid onto my coffee cup. “I—I need to go. Will you explain to Kyra something came up?”
I didn’t even wait for Lydia to answer. I had a lot to do and I needed to get to the county jail before visiting hours ended.
