Page 86 of Sweet on You
My face must not have concealed my feelings. That was high for a misdemeanor… unless they were charging her with a felony.Oh, God, I thought, cradling Olivia’s cheek and kissing her forehead.Were they charging Sarah with a felony?
Mrs. Murphy placed her palm on her husband’s arm. Both of them looked so weary. So exhausted. “We’ll get through it.”
“How is Sarah doing at county?” I asked.
“She’s…” Mrs. Murphy began speaking, but quickly trailed off. She held her eyes closed for a moment before continuing, “She’s as well as can be expected, I guess.” Her eyes fell to the floor in an obvious effort to avoid contact with mine. “She’s very concerned about you being around Olivia.”
I sighed and hugged Olivia closer. “I know I wasn’t great to Sarah when we were together. To be fair, she wasn’t all that great to me, either.”
Mr. Murphy nodded. “I can only imagine what she did to you, too.”
“That being said, I understand why she’s concerned… but I’m different now. And I hope that whatever the outcome is with this trial, whether she’s out tomorrow or in a year, that she can be a parent to Olivia, too. I’m not trying to take her away from Sarah—”
Mr. Murphy gave a humorless laugh and shook his head. “She was never a parent. She doesn’t want Olivia for herself,” he explained. “She just doesn’t trust you to have her.”
I thought about that for a moment, letting it sink in. “So… she wants you two to keep raising Olivia?” They nodded. “Because she doesn’t trust me…” More nodding. “Or herself?”
Their nodding stopped, and Mrs. Murphy’s head tilted in thought. “I never thought of it that way.”
“We just assumed she didn’t truly want to give up her party lifestyle.”
That could certainly be part of it, but even though they knew Sarah her whole life, I had an understanding of her choices that they could never have. Sarah was an addict. Just like me. But she’d had her addiction even longer than I had. “Maybe,” I said, glancing down at Maddie. Now wasn’t a good time to get into the details of addiction with them. So, instead, I opted for a more PG-rated comment on the matter. “If she can get clean and stay clean. Do tests like I do, I wouldn’t be opposed to a joint custody situation with her.”
Mr. Murphy’s eyes snapped to mine. “You would do that?”
From beside me, I heard Ronnie’s sharp inhale, and she pressed her lips together in a tight line. “Maddie, why don’t we go finish off that chocolate caramel cake?” Maddie nodded as Ronnie shuffled her back to the table we were at before.
“Yeah, I would. If I can stay sober, she can, too. It’s not easy. I can’t even imagine trying to detox in county jail. She must be miserable.”
I looked up to find Mrs. Murphy crying and I reached out a comforting hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things worse. Just… having been through it, I feel for her. Despite all the bad things she’s done.” I paused. “Do you… do you think Sarah would come to NA meetings with me? There’s a local chapter about twenty minutes away. I go once a week.”
Mr. Murphy shrugged. “She might. She’s always said she wanted to get sober and stay sober… but it just never happened.”
Ten thousand dollars was a lot of money. It was two-thirds of what I’d saved for the down payment on this property. I swallowed hard. “What if… what if I bail Sarah out for you? It’s one less burden on you two. If she wanted to move to Maple Grove, she could even help me with the bakery, help with Olivia. And I can be there for her to help her stay clean.”
Mr. Murphy blinked rapidly, looking from me, to his wife, then back to me again. “You would do that?” he asked again.
“I said it to you the first day we met… I’m not here to take Olivia away from any of you. Sarah included.”
“We’ve barely trusted her to be home alone with the baby for the last year. What makes you think she can change?”
I took a deep breath. I needed to tread carefully here. This was a sensitive subject and the last thing I wanted to do was imply that they couldn’t help Sarah in the same way I could. I couldn’t just run my mouth and go off on them with the stats I’ve learned from my Narcotics Anonymous group. The very fact that they didn’t trust her? That they probably never left Olivia alone with her? Was probably part of the reason she kept falling off the wagon. “I think she can change… becauseIdid. If I can do it, then she can too. I believe in her. Having someone who’s been through the process can make all the difference. It’s why we’re assigned sponsors in NA.”
Mr. Murphy blinked, his eyes darkening as he leveled me with his steely gaze. If I had to, I would bet that he wasn’t often challenged by the people in his life. But this was one topic I was certain I knew more about. Without a doubt. “Would you be her sponsor?”
I shook my head. “Probably not. I think we have too much history. We’re too connected. But I can still be here for her, and we’ll find her a sponsor nearby that she can rely on.”
“Well,” Mrs. Murphy sniffled and clapped her hands together. “I’m touched that you would consider bailing Sarah out, but…” she shook her head. “We can’t ask you to do that.”
“Why not? We’re family now. This is what family does. No matter what happens, Sarah is my daughter’s mother. You are my daughter’s grandparents. We might not be a conventional family… but we’re still family.” I sighed, looking around my bakery, a million thoughts swarming my head. “Besides, as long as she shows up for her trial, I get my bail money back, right?”
Mrs. Murphy dabbed at her eye. “That’s right.”
“Okay, then,” I said, a finality in my tone of voice. “I just need a few days to get some things in order and I’ll go to the jail and bail her out next week. Just… make sure she shows up to her trial date.”
“You know that’s a fifty-fifty chance, right?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m willing to bet on her.”
“Right,” Mr. Murphy said, his voice deeper, more gruff. But something had shifted between us. There was more respect as he held out his hand for me to shake. I took it firmly and he pumped it once. “We should get going, then.”
“Keep me posted on the meetings next week.”
He nodded, but said nothing more as he backed toward the door.
Mrs. Murphy leaned over, giving Olivia a kiss on the cheek. “Have a goodnight, baby girl.” The lines on her brow deepened and I noticed her eyes were a little more moist than they had been a moment ago.
“We’ll Facetime you before bed,” I said, and as we waved goodbye to Nana and Pappap, Olivia’s eyes welled with tears.
Would there ever come a time that she’d accept this as home? That she’d think of me as Dad? Even though the Murphys and I made strides today, I couldn’t help but feel a little heavier than I had before they’d arrived.
