Page 74 of Sweet on You
I leaned back, whispering, “Has Penny ever been around babies before?”
“I asked Yvonne and she said he’s great with kids. But he might jump, so I’ll need to make sure he doesn’t knock her over.”
I sighed in relief as we reached the top step. As soon as we were inside my apartment, Olivia wriggled out of my arms and Ronnie gave her the cookie, which she sucked, rather than chewed on.
“How… how did you do that?” I asked. “I’ve literally been trying everything to get her to stop crying for an hour. I offered her a cookie—I offered her a dozen cookies to stop crying, and she didn’t care.”
Ronnie shrugged and placed her hand between my shoulder blades, rubbing in circles. “I think having Penny here helped. Sometimes, it’s just about breaking up the pattern when they get into a tantrum state. Next time, try putting her in her playpen and letting her cry it out.”
I jerked my head to Ronnie. “Isn’t that… I dunno… child abuse?”
She covered her laugh with the back of her hand, giving me a sweet, yet rather placating smile. “Not if you’ve already made sure all her needs are met and she’s not hungry or thirsty, no dirty diaper, anything like that. Sometimes kids just have meltdowns and the best thing you can do is let them self-soothe.”
I looked at where Olivia was sitting on the carpet, holding out a piece of her cookie to Penny who was licking her fingers carefully. Frost crept out from behind the TV, rubbing herself against Penny in a greeting, but careful not to get too close to Olivia, who held a piece of cookie out to her. It was almost as if Frost didn’t quite trust that the screaming was over yet, either. Penny on the other hand licked the piece of cookie out of Olivia’s hand without hesitation.
Olivia’s laugh pealed as Penny’s tongue darted out and stole the cookie.
“Kiss!” Olivia said, pointing to the hand Penny had licked.
I rubbed at my forehead feeling suddenly overly exhausted and completely inadequate as a father. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered.
Ronnie’s face dropped and she grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. “You can. Give yourself a little grace. Give Olivia a little grace. It’ll get easier.”
Olivia’s blonde hair was falling out of its messy pigtails. and as she clumsily swiped the wisps away from her eyes, her fingertips smudged her glasses and a few cookie crumbs got stuck on her eyebrow. I smiled at the sight. The adorably messy sight. I grabbed a baby wipe from the basket Ronnie had dropped off earlier and wiped Olivia’s face and hands. “All done?”
“All done!” she answered with a wave of her hands in the air.
Ronnie eyed the stroller, then looked to Olivia. “Do you want to walk to the park or go in your stroller?”
“Walk!” she shouted and pushed to her feet. She started marching in a circle around Frost, with Penny following at her heels, and repeatedwalk, walk, walk, walkover and over again.
I eyed Ronnie. I mean, at this point, who was I to question her methods, but also it seemed risky to let the fifteen-month-old choose that. “Do you really think she’ll walk to and from the park without getting tired?”
Ronnie shrugged. “Probably not. But youwanther to get tired, right?”
Huh. Good point.
“Besides,” Ronnie said, filling the diaper bag with a few snacks, some wipes, and extra diapers, “It’s only a few blocks away. We can switch off carrying her if she gets tired.”
Heat zipped down my chest to my belly. This felt right. Doing this with Ronnie. She was a natural and even though I knew we were far, far away from having our own little family, just getting a glimpse of it was enough for me to realize that I wanted it. I wanted Ronnie. I wanted a family. And I wanted more kids—kids that I could be there for from the start.
I sighed, glancing again at Olivia. I’d missed fifteen months of her life. Which in the grand scheme of her life to come, wasn’t all that much. But still, it was time I’d never get back. And I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive Sarah for robbing me of that time.
