Page 69 of Sweet on You
23
Ronnie
Iwalked the aisles of the baby store, followed closely by my mom and my sister, the metal handles of the basket pinching my arm.
It had been two days since Lex had mentioned the ‘L’ word. And one day since we had officially claimed each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Which, at my age, felt a little strange. But even still, that L word tickled the back of my brain.
“Why are we doing this again?” Callie asked, picking up a package of diapers and tossing it haphazardly into my basket.
Mom and I shared a speedy look and I rolled my eyes. “Because we care about Lex and he’s nervous about his first day with Olivia,” I said. “And it’s the nice thing to do.”
“And… cause he’s your boytoy?Ouch!” She barely got the phrase out before Mom pinched the back of her arm, sending me a wink.
Mom lifted the diapers Callie had tossed in the basket, examining them. “I can almost guarantee that he won’t have some of the stuff that he is bound to need. This little care package will hopefully help get him through his first night with Olivia a little easier.” She held up the diapers to me, her brows cinching together in the center of her face. “How old is she again?”
“About a year and a half.”
Mom rolled her eyes, putting the diapers back on the shelf. “Callie, these are for six month olds. Wouldyouwant to wear undies that were ten sizes too small for you?”
Callie laughed, but shrugged. “Sorry, baby stuff isn’t my thing.” She reached for another package of diapers, but mom stopped her, grabbing another brand instead.
“Let’s get these instead. The mothers who work at the hospital with me swear by these leak guard flaps.”
“Yeah, but those are a dollar more per package,” Callie said.
“A dollar more is a small price to pay after the first time your baby ruins her clothes and yours with explosive diarrh—”
“Okay!” Callie said, tossing the leak guard diapers in the basket. “You win. Leak guard it is!”
Mom smiled triumphantly as we made our way further through the store, grabbing a changing pad, wipes, pacifiers, and some other knick knacks. Mom froze in the middle of the stroller aisle, staring up at the car seats. “Does Lex have a car seat for her?” she asked.
I winced. I doubted it. “I don’t think so. This all happened so fast, I think he suspected he’d have more time to prepare.”
Mom exhaled a deep breath. “Above everything else, that is going to be the priority. What if something happens overnight and he needs to take her to the hospital?”
God, I hadn’t thought of that. “Maybe her grandparents will let him borrow theirs?”
Mom nodded, but continued staring at the car seats. “Maybe. But those things are a pain in the ass to take in and out of your car. He’s going to need one, eventually. And a stroller too.”
“Mom,” I exhaled a heavy breath. Buying him some small baby gear items and diapers as a gift was one thing. But strollers and car seats were hundreds of dollars. “Let’s not get carried away. Give Lex some credit. I’m sure he’s thought ofsomeof these things.”
Mom tore her gaze away from the car seat and smiled at me. “Maybe you’re right.”
Callie cleared her throat. “Between you, me, Steve, Yvonne, Cam, and Lydia, we could all chip in and get it for him as a gift,” she said. “When I talked to Lydia this morning she said they wanted to get him something, too.”
My sister. For all her bellyaching, she was such a softie.
“That’s settled, then,” Mom said, grabbing the car seat she’d been eyeing, and I couldn’t help but be the one who rolled my eyes this time. As if she’d ever been planningnotto get it for him. I was certain she was planning to wait until after I left and then she would have snuck back in here, bought it, and delivered it anonymously to Lex.
“Shouldn’t we call Cam and Steve and make sure they’re on board—”
“Nonsense. I’m certain they are. Oh, that reminds me, I have a bag of Maddie’s old clothes to give Lex as well.”
“I’m sure Olivia has clothes already at her grandparent’s house,” I said, lifting an adorable stuffed cat that looked a lot like Frost and was softer than a cloud. I tucked it into my basket.
“Oh, sweetie. You’ll be amazed at how fast these little ones outgrow their clothes. Plus, if this arrangement continues with the back and forth between grandma’s house and Lex’s apartment, they aren’t going to want to pack her a suitcase of clothes with each visit. It will be easier for him to have the staples at home, ready to go.”
“I didn’t even think of that,” I said. “He only has a one-bedroom. Where is Olivia going to sleep?” Where wouldwesleep if I stayed over while he had her? And if he was going to get full custody… that would be literally every night.
Holy crap. I was feeling overwhelmed already and it wasn’t even my kid. I couldn’t imagine how Lex must be feeling right now.
“Oh, honey,” Mom wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me into a hug. “These things have a way of working themselves out. When your dad and I first had Cam, we only had a small one-bedroom lodge. You’d be surprised at how well little ones can sleep in their pack and plays or on the floor when they’re old enough. And I’m sure he’s already considering upgrading to a two-bedroom.”
“Yeah. Yeah, he probably is,” I said, even though I didn’t quite feel comforted just yet. To my right, there was a set of tiny knitted booties. They were literally smaller than the size of my palm and a lump lodged in my throat as I remembered Maddie being that tiny when I held her in my arms on the day she was born. I remembered staring down at her little puckered lips as tears streamed down my face. Because for the first time, I knew what it felt like to love someone immediately, without really knowing them or having even met them before. That feeling was surreal and amazing.
I wasn’t sure why, but when Mom and Callie were distracted with the car seat, I grabbed the booties and put them in my basket. I knew they wouldn’t fit Olivia, but I was so drawn to them. I needed them. They reminded me that I wanted that feeling someday… for myself. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be a mother, but I did want it.
And for now, maybe that was realization enough.
