Page 24 of Sweet on You
9
Ronnie
It was only four-thirty by the time we sat down at Frank's pizzeria. It felt weird sitting there on the chilly patio with my dog laying calmly at my feet. No, wait, notmydog—my foster dog. His calm demeanor was a complete 180 from the dog who tore down my door a mere two hours ago. And to top it all off, curled up against his belly was Lex's cat.
Like the two were best friends.
It was freaking adorable.
I truly didn't know what to think anymore.
Maybe Yvonne was right. Lex certainlyseemedinterested in me. Then again, I’ve said that before. I said that for nearly two years. He seemed interested and flirty two years ago when he delivered a blueberry crumble pie to my mother's house on Father's Day. He seemed interested at Cam and Lydia's engagement party. And he certainly seemed interested one month ago on top of Mount Washington.
Bottom line, my instincts couldn't be trusted. No matter how often his turquoise eyes twinkled at me. And no matter how many times he flashed his sexy dimples my way. Nope, I just had to ignore that little flutter of excitement down deep in my core.
"So, you mentioned a girlfriend back in Manchester?" I immediately cringed when I asked the question. Here I was trying to convince myself that he's not interested and what did I do in response? I asked him about his ex-girlfriend. Like a moron.
Lex paused, his glass halfway to his mouth. It was brief, the pause, but I saw it all the same. That little moment of uncertainty. A second’s hesitation from not knowing how to answer. I knew the moment well. I had lived that moment myself many times. Whatever happened between him and his ex, it didn't end well. The difference was, Lex composed himself about 80 times faster than I ever have or ever will.
A grin spread slowly across Lex’s face and he took a long, lingering sip of his Diet Coke. It had never occurred to me until now, after learning that Lex was a recovering addict, that I hadneverseen him drink alcohol before. He casually licked his lips and set his drinking glass back down on the table. "Was that a question? I couldn’t tell from the inflection—I don’t think I heard a question mark in there."
"Sure, you did. Iasked ifyou mentioned a girlfriend back in Manchester." We both knew I was full shit. Myrealquestions were unspoken, but we both knew what they were.Who is she? Why did it end? Is it really over? Is she the reason you said no to me a month ago?
"Okay then," Lex said with a nod. "Then, yes. Ididmention a girlfriend back in Manchester." His brow lifted, just the left one, and it arched high above his turquoise eye. "Ex-girlfriend, to be exact." He sent me a smug smile and leaned back in his chair, confidence brimming over top, ready to spill out at any second. It was infuriating. And sexy. Though I really didn't want to focus too much on the latter.
"Okay, fine," I said with another quick sip of my vodka seltzer. I was no weenie. I wasn't afraid to ask the tough questions. Except, that was sort of a lie. Iwasafraid, but that never stopped me before. "Is your ex still an addict? Or has she gotten clean, too?”
Lex's eyes widened, but his grin stayed right in place. "Well, Ronnie. I didn't know you had that in you."
I tilted my head, sending him a rapid fire of innocent blinks. "What do you mean?"
“That was so blunt. So personal.”
“I assumed you wanted the no bullshit question, right?”
“Absolutely.” Lex nodded, still smiling, but his lips relaxed. "You have no idea how many people tip-toe around this topic. I’m not afraid to discuss my history. And while, yes, I’m ashamed of how bad I let things get, I’m really proud of myself for how far I’ve come.” He paused, his eyes softening at the corners. “So, to answer your question… my ex has not managed to stay clean and is still an addict."
He didn't offer any more than that… but what that did reveal is that he was still in contact with her in some form or another. Unfortunately, it didn’t give me insight into why they broke up. No indication if she was still in England or not. And before I could ask, he opened his mouth. "What about you? Any exes to note?"
It was a fair question, considering I had brought it up first. But also, it was the single worst thing he could have asked me. And my physical reaction to his question couldn’t have been more viscerally different than his. My palms felt immediately damp with sweat and I rubbed them down the sides of my yoga pants. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. My answer was ridiculously embarrassing. "I've only had two boyfriends in my entire life,” I blurted out. And they both ended before I turned twenty-four.Yep, that’s right.I was twenty-eight and I hadn’t had a boyfriend since I was twenty-three and practically left at the altar.
I took a deep breath. “My high school boyfriend, Brian, was…” I sighed. “He thought he was helping me, but he only fed into my eating disorder when I was a teenager. I was a gymnast and my coach… God, he was awful. All the gymnasts would have to weigh in before practice and if you were over 110lbs, he would send you home. Brian used to sell me his Adderall to help me stay under weight.” I blinked, looking up at Lex as his bright blue eyes narrowed with concern. I guess he and I had a little more in common than I realized. Although my Adderall addiction from high school was nowhere near his narcotics addiction. “It caught up to me, surprise, surprise. I collapsed at a competition one day and was hospitalized for being so underweight.”
“I’m so sorry, Ronnie,” he said, his hand sliding across the table and draping over mine.
I gave him the best smile I could muster in that moment and shrugged one shoulder to my ear. “I’m fine now. I think I was more addicted to the control… more addicted to the weight loss than the actual Adderall.” I paused, then shook my head. “No, I was pretty addicted to the pills, too. But luckily it didn’t go too far before I got help.”
He nodded thoughtfully, squeezing my hand. “I’m really glad to hear that.”
“It’s why I’m still so weird with food. I guess I was never able to fully give up that control, you know? I just have a healthier grasp on it.”
He took another sip of his soda. “And what about the second ex?”
I swallowed, my throat feeling suddenly dry. “He—” My voice cracked and I wasn’t able to answer him. I didn’t think that Lex would judge me, ever, for my life choices. But I certainly judged myself. “He… just… he chose someone else,” I said, my voice small. I tried my damnedest to keep the defensiveness out of my voice, though I was certain I failed miserably. It seemed neither of us was willing to offer up a ton of information about our exes. Three years Brandon and I been together. Three years and I knew he had an ex-wife that he paid alimony to. What I didn’t know was that he was still in love with her. Waiting for the day that she would crook her finger and beckon him back… which she did. The day before he and I were supposed to get married.
Lex studied me carefully from over the rim of his glass. “He chose someone other than you? What a bloody idiot.”
I sniffed, grabbing my drink and taking another gulp. “Hewasa bloody idiot,” I sneered. A bloody idiot who was actually still married… seemingly happily, if Facebook was any indication of the truth.
