Page 96 of Role Play
Her hips bucked. “Oh, God,” she whispered, rolling her ass against me once more. Her hands jerked against the glass, but they stayed in place, almost as though she had been about to move them, but thought better of it. Good girl.“Then why did you bring me in here? If you don’t want me tocome?”
“I wanted you to see this. But your orgasms are mine and I don’t want anyone walking in and witnessing the gorgeous way you come. That’s for my eyes and my eyesonly.”
I withdrew my hand from within her panties as she let out a whimpered moan. Like the lack of my touch was physically painful for her. Taking her shoulders, I gently turned Lucy to face me and cupped her jaw. “Lucy,” I whispered, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Before we go further, I think we need to talk about last night at the bar. About what I said… and what happenedafter.”
She sighed and glanced to the window. “Here? With that in thebackground?”
I smiled. “Well, we could go back to my room if youwant—”
She shook her head. “Let’s just get this over with. I just… I want to move on from lastnight.”
I nodded, completely understanding. Rip the Band-aidoff.
As she drew in a shaky breath, her arms trembled. “I was just having fun. Letting loose with a friend. I’m twenty-two years old. You can’t expect me not to go out and get drunk with friendsoccasionally.”
“Would I have preferred it if you had eaten a decent dinner before hitting the tequila? Yeah. But that’s my own shit and I need to find a way to work through that without taking it out on you. I have a thing about food and eating and I realize I triggered you last night with my own issues. I’m sorry for that. I’m working on my own issues, but I’m not going to change and be perfect at this overnight. I slipped when I asked you to eat. I’msorry.”
She nodded, her mouth tipping into a small smile. “I’m sorry,too.”
My brows twitched. She was sorry? What the hell did she have to be sorryfor?
She rolled her eyes. “Look, I get it. It wasn’t the wisest life choice for me to drink on an empty stomach. I could have easily avoided that doozy of a hangover or at least minimized it if I’d eaten before getting sodrunk.”
This seemed like a different Lucy. She wasn’t nearly as upset as I expected her to be. “I also want to recognize all the things you did right last night,” I said. “You were being safe, which I appreciated. You had Miguel. You weren’t planning to drive home.” I tilted my head, driving home the point. “But you know all this already. You’re an adult. You can take care of yourself. That being said… Iliketaking care of you. I mean, I wish you hadn’t been puking everywhere last night, but as a Dom, caring for your needs is the biggest high I can get out of thislifestyle.”
Lucy blinked, the flush of her cheeks fading as the moisture brimmed in her eyes. “More so than...” She bit her lip and pushed her glasses higher on her nose. “Fucking?”
I swallowed that knotted lump down to my stomach. “Yes.”With you, atleast.
“Is that… is thatstandard?”
“Every Dom is different. Most of us love taking care of our subs. But I can’t speak for others in the community. Just myself.” Teaching her…trulyteaching her this lifestyle means teaching her more than just my version of it. If we didn’t last… if this was just a casual relationship to Lucy, then she needed to understand the rules for the next man she would be with. Even if it pained me to prepare her for anotherDom.
A tight breath hissed through my lips at the thought. Lucy with another man. Fuck me. The idea of that was almost too much to take. Scooping my hand into her hair, I dragged it down her neck, bringing my lips down hard onto hers. It was a strange thought—me wanting a woman other than Brie entirely to myself. I took a deepbreath.
“Lucy, if you wanted to enter a relationship with another Dom, you would have to discuss this with him. Every BDSM relationship is different and you set up your limits. I know we went over this before, but if you take nothing else from our time together—remember this: soft limits are things that make you uncomfortable, but maybe you’ll warm up to with time. Hard limits are lines you will never cross—and if you establish those, and your Dominant crosses them anyway? That’s no longer a fetish… that’s abuse.” I paused, letting that sink in. Watching as her eyes tightened, little lines crinkling the soft, creamy skin. “That is what separates you and I from your mother and father. You are a consenting adult who finds this pleasurable. Even the pain should be pleasurable. You control every scene with your safewords. You determine when we start andstop.”
“So, you’re like my vibrator. I can turn you off and on for myenjoyment.”
I laughed at that. Only Lucy would compare what I just said to her vibrator. “Yeah, I guess I sort of am, aren’t I? Only instead of hitting a little off/on button, you use yoursafewords.”
I watched as the information soaked in and she adjusted her glasses which had fallen askew. “Why didn’t you explain it like thisbefore?”
I sighed. That’s a damn good question. Because I didn’t know I had to. I didn’t know her history and childhood trauma. Because I was selfish. Because I was horny. Because I was so excited she decided to sign the contract. Any of those answers would have worked. Instead, I settled on, “I’ve never trained anyone before and it didn’t occur to me to explain it likethat.”
A smile twitched at her gorgeous mouth, but just as quickly, it fell. “Or maybe I wasn’t really listening until justnow.”
The pink tip of her tongue swiped nervously across herlips.
“Maybe. Maybe we’re both learning in thisprocess.”
She folded tighter into my body. “Tell me your secret,” she said. “You clearly don’t care who knows that you’re in the lifestyle. So what do they have over you to keep you from talking about what’s within thesewalls?”
I chuckled softly. I could ask her the same thing—but I didn’t. Lots of people had asked me this question. And I never told. Not once. Sub after sub asked this. For some reason, it was everyone’s biggest curiosity. For an inexplicable reason, Lucy was the first submissive I ever wanted to share the truth with. “My wife was in the lifestyle long before I ever was. She was a switch—meaning she would switch between submissive and Dominant, though she preferred submissive. She’d been in the lifestyle since she was nineteen, but her daddy is a preacher. She never wanted him to know. Never wanted to ruin her status of being his baby girl. Or hurt his career with herkink.”
Lucy gasped, a look of horror twisting her face. “And LnS is holding that over you? That’s… that’s horrible. Using your late wife as some sort of sickblackmail—”
“I know it sounds bad, Lucy, but really it’s not. I will never tell the world Brie’s secret. And because I know how important that was to Brie, I would never tell anyone else’s secret within these walls. Ever. Never ever. So… it doesn’tfeellike blackmail to me. Because I know they’ll never have to useit.”
