Page 40 of Role Play
“Okay,” Isaid.
His dark eyebrows jumped, and he regarded me carefully, like he had expected me to go back on my earlier statement of being okay with this. Frankly, I had kind of expected that, too. But, the fact of the matter was relationships didn’t work well for me. They never had. So maybe this intoxicating world Ash was a part of was where I belonged. A world where relationships were strangely transactional and apparently you didn’t have dates… you had “scenes.”
There was only one way to find out. This strangely alluring life of dominance and submission, of ropes and spanking, of Sir—no, notSir. I could never. I still needed to bemyself. But the thought of his hand hitting my ass until I was so raw, I was literally throbbing for him? A shudder shook my body visibly and I rubbed my palms over the gooseflesh lifting on myskin.
Maybe this could work.I hadn’t had a date for two years. But regardless of this, I still had needs—clearly as evidenced by how wet and desperate for human touch I’d been in the supply closet at lunch. Maybe this was the answer. Hot, deviant sex with a man who made my toes curl against my rubber flip-flops.
He cleared his throat. “I have rules for any of my subs. But the one that I always reveal first and foremost is this: Absolutely no Googling me from this pointforward.”
No Googling? That’s a weird rule. Then again… it could benefit both of us. He was clearly private with this history and his ex—whoever she was. And I didn’t want him finding out about UncleRichard.
I nodded at him, forcing a smile. Was it a little disconcerting? Yeah. Did that make it a bad rule? Nope. Not at all. “Okay,” I said. “But if I’m not allowed to Google you, then you’re not allowed to Google me.Deal?”
“Deal,” he responded withouthesitation.
“I have some rules, too” I said, surprising not only Ash, but myself aswell.
“Rules are good,” Ash said. “They’re an absolute part of this life. Mylife.”
"Right," I said. I knew from working on the film that Dominants and submissives hash out contracts, and strictly abide to them. "I'm sure I'm not surprising you when I tell you I've never done anything like thisbefore.”
“Oh, I’m counting on that,” Ash said, and his mouth twitched in a way that I wasn’t sure whether it was a smile or afrown.
“Okay. Well, I'm going to need you to walk me through this, step by step. And I’ll need you to be understanding if I don’t really pick up on it rightaway.”
He nodded. “I’m not exactly known for being ‘understanding,’ but with you, I believe I can make an exception. That being said, punishment is a big part of what BDSM is about. So, meunderstandingyou’re a novice is one thing… but you’ll still receive punishments. And that’s what safewords are for. I’ll never be upset if you useyours.”
Was that true? I always imagined that the use of safewords would be frustrating for a Dominant. “Punishments like… thecloset?”
“To start with,” Ash answered. “I enjoy administering pain. Especially pain that my subs find pleasure in. I like being in control of it. But I never take it too far. I never have. I neverwill.”
“Other than spanking, what else do you do for pain?” I wasn’t opposed to the idea, especially if it was the sort of pain I felt earlier, that twinged with excitement and anticipation. But I was so new at this, so uneducated, I didn’t even know where my lines began orended.
“Any number of things. Floggings, spanking, getting spanked with the riding crop, nipple clamps…” he paused. “Want me to keepgoing?”
I shook my head, picturing nipple clamps attached to my tender breasts. “It’s hard to imagine something that’s truly painful being sexy,” I said, my raspy voice a dead giveaway for how raw and needy Ifelt.
“I know it’s hard to understand, but pain heightens everything. All your senses burst to life with pain. Colors are more vivid. Sounds are intensified. A hard spank, mixed with a feather-soft stroke is utter perfection. One cannot exist without the other because that quick snap of pain makes the ecstasy of pleasure that much moreintense.”
I squeezed my legs together tighter. “We each have limits, right?” Another twitch of his lips—this time, definitely a smile. “That’s right,” I said. “I knowsomethings. I’d have to be a total idiot to not pick up on some of the details working on thisfilm.”
“You’re anything but an idiot, Lucy.” Ash stood from behind his desk and for the short instance he’d been sitting and talking, I had almost forgotten how absolutely gorgeous he was. No, gorgeous didn’t do him justice. That’s something you call a beauty pageant contestant. Not Ash. Not with his hulking, muscular physique; broad chest and lean waist; piercing blue eyes, razor sharp cheekbones and squarejaw.
He was raw, magnificent masculinity and he was sexy ashell.
He handed me the stack of papers from his desk. “I’d like to have dinner tonight. Get to know you a littlebetter.”
“Get to know me better? You were three knuckles deep in me a few hours ago.”Oh, my God. What is wrong with me?Heat rushed to my face as soon as I said it. Someone needed to punch me in the vagina to shut me up. Sure, I hadn’t gotten laid in over two years, but God. I could almost hear Andrea’s voice in my head shouting,play it cool,girl!
“Oh, I remember,” Ash said, his grin spreading. “And I plan on making good on my promise to you. I said you would come tonight… and youwillcometonight.”
“When you said you didn’t do relationships, I guess I just thought that meant we would do this once and that’d beit.”
He shook his head no. “When I say I don’t do relationships, I mean emotionally. Aftercare is a big part of my lifestyle, but that’s not to be confused with a date or withlove.”
Why was sex so damn confusing? I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. “Okay, then. Where are we going? For dinner, Imean.”
“My place,” Ash said. “Not LnS—they have too many strict policies. And we can’t go out to dinner until we sign a consent form for the studio and meet with Richard.” Tension climbed in my throat, lodging dead center.We have to meet with Uncle Richard?Oh, fuck no. “So that leaves my house,” hefinished.
