Page 68 of Role Play
Lucy
You aren’t surfing, are you? I saw on the news that there’s been an increase in shark attacks in LosAngeles.”
My mom’s voice became more shrill than usual as she voiced her question. “Mom, I barely have time to shower before work in the mornings and most days I don’t get out until the sun has set. When would I find the time to surf, even if I wantedto?”
“Luciana, personal hygiene is very important. You need to showerdaily.”
I closed my eyes and silently let loose a sigh. I should have known my answer would send her into a whole different danger spiral. She saw danger everywhere. Suddenly, flashbacks of my mom making me scrub my hands raw before eating invaded my mind. How she would make me scoop the dirt out from under my fingernails with this little manicure tool several times a day, even when there was no dirt to be seen.Germs are invisible,Luciana.
“I was just exaggerating mom. I promise you, my hygiene is fine. I shower every day.” I took a bite of my spaghetti and chewed as quietly as Icould.
“You’re on lunch break?” Apparently, I didn’t chew quietlyenough.
“Yep,” I said, feeling my heart rate speed up with herquestion.
“Did you see that app I texted you? Where you input each meal and it calculates what you need to eat for maximum health and weightloss?”
I closed my eyes, the spaghetti roiling in my stomach. “Oh. Well, I’ve never been good with trackingcalories.”
“That’s why you getthe app. It tracks foryou.”
Yeah, right. No way in hell I was getting that app. “I’m pretty happy with how I eat,mom.”
She snorted on the other end of the line. “You’re happy eating processed food and preservatives all the time? Sugar andcheese?”
I sighed. “Yep. I suream.”
“You never take my suggestions. You never listen tome.”
Oh boy. Here we go again.“Mom, that’s nottrue—”
“I need to go, Luciana. I’m meeting some girlfriends at a new smoothiebar.”
Yep. She didn’t like my answer, so she’s leaving. That’s what she does best. “Mom, don’t be likethat.”
“Don’t be like what? Don’t have a sociallife?”
I sighed, my heart growing heavy.Don’t pull away from me. “Don’t get mad. That’s not what I meant. That app just isn’t for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk toyou—”
“I’m not mad. I just have plans. I’ll talk to you later, Luciana.” I closed my eyes briefly. There wasn’t much point in arguing with her when she got like this. “Okay, mom. I loveyou—”
But she hung up before I could finish thesentence.
I sat there, pushing spaghetti around my half-empty plate with one hand and holding the phone in the other. Why did I keep staring at the blank screen? Did I really expect her to call back? This happened a million times before. It’ll happen a million times again. She gets mad when she doesn’t get her way, then she disappears for a while. Sometimes it’s a day, sometimes it’s a month. Eventually, she gets over it and comes back tome.
And yet, I couldn’t stop staring at myphone.
A minute later, it buzzed in my hand, a text message popping up. Only it wasn’t from mom. It was fromAsh.
Have youeaten?
I blinked down at the text. Was he fucking serious right now? My fork froze literally halfway to my open mouth as I read the text. I had just gotten done defending my eating habits to my mom… I didn’t need to repeat that with the man I was fucking. I thought I had made myself clear last night about how my eating habits are not his concern and he had to trust me to handle my ownnutrition.
Not to mention, he had completely gone radio silent on me this morning when we almost had sex in bed. He pulled away. He tried to cover it up by taking me to the world’s most awkward breakfast before work. We sat there at a greasy diner and ate in absolute silence for twenty minutes before I left first.“We can’t both show up at the same time,”I had said as an excuse to leave, but truly? I couldn’t sit there in that uncomfortable silence for another second. I had no idea what had changed—but whatever it was, it was a deal breaker forme.
I had been dealing with a distancing personality almost my whole life. I knew the signs when I saw it. Ihadto put up with it from my mother. I didn’t get to choose her. But Ash? I didn’t have to just sit here and takeit.
I dropped the fork into my almost empty bowl of spaghetti and my fists clenched and unclenched, my palms growing sweaty as I ran through potential responses in my brain. But before I could respond, three little dots appeared beside his name and my phone buzzed with the nexttext.
