Page 122 of Role Play
“Come on!” I slammed my fist into the table, my breath tearing from my lungs like I was inhaling razor blades. “She must have been moved to a different film set. Rich wouldn’t have just let herquit.”
But Kelly simply stood there, her chin high, her hands folded in front of her calmly. She was like a different woman from who I met monthsago.
My heart throbbed painfully from behind my ribcage. A curse slipped through my lips as I slid into a chair. I fell forward, my head dropping into my shaking palms. How the fuck did I get here? I know what Lucy wanted. What she needed. But I couldn’t fucking give it toher.
“Ash,” Kelly said, her voice surprisinglygentle.
“What?” I muttered from behind myhands.
“Lucy lovesyou.”
My eyes blinked open, snapping to stare at Kelly. “She saidthat?”
She regretfully bit her lip before shaking her head no. “Not exactly. But it’s prettyobvious.”
I snorted and shook my head before pushing off my knees and stalking toward the door. Kelly’s voice stopped me. Gone was the gentle tone from seconds ago. In its place was afirmness.
“What the hell are you so scaredof?”
I sighed, pausing just steps away from my escape. “I’m not scared,” I snapped back. “I just can’t give her what sheneeds.”
I heard the clicking of her heels stepping closer. “Well, that’s just a load of bullshit,” she whispered, right behindme.
I spun around, face to face with her. “It’snot—”
“It is. It’s total bullshit. I know people walk on eggshells around you because you’re the director. Because you have your own office here at the studio.” She paused, taking a breath before adding, “And because of what happened to your wife. People watch what they say around you—and how they say it. But right now? You’re not my boss. At this moment, you’re just the man who broke my friend’sheart.”
I swallowed, momentarily taken aback that she called Lucy a friend and because she was being so forthright. She was right. People were always cautious around me. It began around the time of Brie’s death and it just seemed to stick as I got more and more temperamental on set. “What’s your point,Kelly?”
“My point is that your reasons for not being with Lucy aren’t real. This idea that you’re not good enough for her, or that you can’t give her what she needs is total bullshit. Let her decide what she needs. Let her decide what’s good enough for herself. And as for you? You need to dig deeper. Because there’s a reason beneath that—your real reason for walking away from an awesome girl like Lucy.” She paused, pressing her ruby colored lips together before adding, “And if you reallyarewalking away from her… then you can’t keep showing up in her life. You can’t keep calling. It’s not fair to her when she’s trying so desperately hard to get overyou.”
I stared in awe at Kelly, my mouth gaping open. I laughed despite the utter despair I felt in my gut. “How the hell did you get sowise?”
She rolled her eyes, grabbing a binder of designs off the table and moving beyond me out the door. “I’ve always been wise. You’ve just been too arrogant to see it.” Despite the harsh words, she sent me a wink before leaving me there alone in the costume department. I was surrounded by memories of Lucy. She was all over this room. I could see her hand-scribbled notes on the whiteboard. Her signature was on the invoices scattered on the table. Her design aesthetic in the careful choice of fabrics and outfits. I was surrounded by her andyet…
And yet I was utterly and completelyalone.
