Page 49 of Callback
4)Jude may just be using me.
But even as I wrote that last con down, I didn’t believe it. Jude didn’t seem like he was out to abuse his power. If anything, he was dubious about keeping me at arm’s length and remaining professional, despite the odd position we were in. That was the weird thing about method acting—or truly any type of acting. Sometimes lines blurred.
Besides, it wasn’tjustmy job in danger. Jude could get in some serious trouble with the studio’s non-fraternization policy. Somehow, that fact made me feel a bit better. I wasn’t the only one risking everything to potentially be with him.
Oh, God. Maybe he doesn’t even want to be with me.The thought hadn’t really crossed my mind until just now. It seemed so obvious that he was at least attracted to me. But much in the same way that I wasn’t sure if I really liked Jude specifically, or if it was the introduction to the lifestyle… maybehewas infatuated with the acts I’m participating in and not me specifically? It’s been seventeen months since he was with a submissive… maybe he’s just rekindling his love of being a Dominant?
A cold numbness drained from my face down to my belly. It shouldn’t have hurt—to think that he didn’t want me. Especially when I wasn’t even sure I wanted him. But it did. It was cold and sobering.
I shook the unwanted thoughts away. Okay… Pros. There were a lot of them—and they extended beyond just how freaking hot he was.
Both my mind and heart raced as Jude’s boyish grin popped into my thoughts. My mouth kicked up in a smile at the thought of his. I liked spending time with him. I liked pleasing him. I liked how free I felt around him. This open, unbarred version of myself was limitless and I felt like infinite possibilities existed when I was with him.
I like him, a little voice whispered inside of me.
I shook my head. No. Stick to the facts. Stick to the pro-con list. And don’t let schmoopy poopy emotions cloud rational deductive reasoning.
There was a knock at my door and I jumped, the pen flinging out of my hand and rolling across the floor. Sighing, I stood and walked over to answer the door. The front door. Not Jude’s side entrance. The only time Jude had used that door was if he was bringing food in from outside.
I opened it carefully, peeking out and standing there wasn’t Jude… but Ash. I squeaked a weird little sound and slammed the door shut.
I slammed. The door. Shut… in the director of the movie’s face.What the hell is wrong with me?
He knocked again, this time louder and through the door, he said, “Marly, let me in. Jude sent me with dinner so that you could interview another Dominant.”
Jude sent Ash? He said I’d be interviewing another Dom while I was here… but freaking Ash Livingston?
Carefully and with a deep breath, I opened the door again. He didn’t wait for an invite, but barged through, swinging the plastic bag of takeout in his hand. “There we go,” he said, breezing past me and set the food on a little bistro table in the corner of the room.
“Kale salad with quinoa and black beans for you… Jude was insistent on all three, saying you need protein somehow or another. And a burger for me.”
He climbed onto the stool and opened a plastic box containing his burger. Even the smell of that charred meat was enough to have me recoiling away from Ash. Combine that with the fact that he was the director of the film? And I literally wanted to beanywhereelse but here.
“Sit,” he said and lifted his burger in one giant hand. A hand that probably spanked women. Or worse. I swallowed and sat across from him, opening my salad and feeling like a lamb sitting down for dinner in the slaughterhouse.
“So… do I use my safe word with you if I’m uncomfortable?”
His gaze jerked up from over his bite of burger, eyes wide. “Safe word? Jesus, Marlena, what do you think we’re going to be doing in here?”
I stabbed my salad with the fork. “I don’tknow, that’s why I’m asking you.”
“I promise you, we won’t be doing anything that requires a goddamned safe word. Think of this like… another meeting for the role of Holly. Except that nothing you ask me will weigh in on whether you get the part or not. Within these walls,” he circled his finger in the air, “you’re safe.”
“That’s what everyone keeps saying.”
“Everyone?”
“Well… Jude.”
“He says it because it’s true. The people up here? They would never shame you. They’d never make you feel bad for your kink or lifestyle and they trust you not to shame them.” He licked some ketchup off his thumb and raised his brows.
“Trust. That’s the other thing Jude keeps talking about.”
“It’s a big one.” He grabbed a few fries and put all of them in his mouth at once.
“So, Jude said he doesn’t really do one-night stands, but that some Doms do. How would that even work inside these walls? Where secrets and identities are so protected?”
“Ah,” Ash said. “Now we’re talking my language.” He leaned back and cracked his knuckles animatedly. “So, for the one-night stands, the subs who you bring up here—it’s like they’re on lockdown. They’re only allowed inside the Dom’s two private rooms—her room and your room. While entering and exiting the building, the sub is blindfolded.”
