Page 65 of Conflicted Fate
I frowned. Had I truly just thought that? Was love a word I was ready and willing to use around Kiel? Neither of us had broached that topic. Not since I’d tried and he’d forbidden it due to his true identity. Since then, we’d spent more time getting to know one another. There were no more secrets, and we’d undoubtedly grown closer, spending almost every waking moment together. But was it enough? Did I risk saying that word now.
What if I scared him off again? Going into battle with that hanging over us was not the way to go. Or worse, what if I saidnothing, and one of us didn’t survive? If it were me, that regret would drive me into a very dark place.
“Thank you.”
Kiel’s words snatched me back to the present, the warmth of the campfire bathing the front of our bodies as we rested against one another, a perfect balance to keep each other from tipping over.
“For what?” I asked, unsure what I may have missed while I was busy being terrified about falling in love.
No, not falling in love.Admittingthat I’d fallen in love. To him and to me. That was what still scared me. The truth, though …
“Everything,” he said, waving a hand vaguely at the fire. “You’ve believed in me from the start. There hasn’t been any doubt in you.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said with a laugh. “You’ve thrown me for several loops.”
He shook his head, denying my truth. “Maybe, but it never seemed that way. I honestly thought I’d never be comfortable telling anyone who I was. It’s been centuries since I even tried. Then you came along, and all of a sudden, I hated myself fornottelling you sooner. And when I did, you laughed it off.”
“Maybe on the outside,” I said. “I definitely had to think about that one a lot. But I saw who you were, and when I tried to convince myself thatthatperson was some evil bogeyman from children’s tales, I just couldn’t do it. People change, and you’ve had seven centuries to do it. It’s not that surprising, really.”
“To you, it’s not,” he said with a wry laugh. “I, on the other hand, was terrified I was going to lose you, but I also knew Ihadto tell you, or I would never trulyhaveyou either.”
“I’m glad you did,” I told him, trying to put enough emphasis on my words to show how much it meant to me, that he’d been willing to trust me with the truth.
“Me, too,” he said, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.
We sat in silence, taking in the presence of the other and our … What were we? Our relationship? We hadn’t actually talked about it. We were doing everything so differently than I’d been taught, not relying on the fate stones to tell us who our mates were.
“Kiel,” I said, curiosity taking over.
“Yes?”
“How did … how did mates find one another before the stones? How did youknowyou were with the one you were meant to be with?”
His muscles stiffened slightly at the question. “Fate would guide you,” he said. “Gentle strings that you often didn’t notice. Tugging you to decide to do or not do certain things. It would result in paths crossing. It was a very natural thing.”
“But when you found them, did people—did theyknow? Or was it just an assumption?”
“I don’t know.”
I blinked. “What?”
He shrugged. “Peoplesaidthey knew, that it was obvious to them. But they only ever said that secondhand. I can’t back that up one way or another.”
Leaning slightly away so I could actually look at him, I shook my head. There was no way he was saying what I thought he was. “Are you saying you never … you never had a mate?”
He smiled down at me, the look lopsided and easy, lacking the sadness I’d expected to find there. “I don’t really think young me was the sort of person who deserved a mate, so you can let go of your sympathy. I wasn’t interested in listening to Fate back then, either. I wanted to control her. Seems fitting that I, like the other Alphas, was always mateless.”
“I guess,” I said, staring deep into his eyes, wondering if he would say something about hiscurrentstatus. If there were ever a time …
It couldn’t be me. I’d pushed too hard, too fast already. Once bitten, twice shy. I needed Kiel to be the one to say it, to show me thathefelt that deeply, and it wasn’t just because I’d forced his hand. Perhaps it was petty of me. After all, it wasn’t easy for him. But that was half of it, wasn’t it? To do something not easy, to tell me how hefelt. To give voice to his emotions. That was what I wanted to hear from him.
“I’m happy Fate brought you into my life,” he said stiffly, obviously realizing he was expected to say something. “I want you to know, Jada, that I intend to be the type of person you deserve.”
“You do?” It wasn’tquitewhat I’d hoped to hear, but it was vastly better than silence, and I was learning to take what little steps I could with Kiel. Better that than to force it from him before he was ready.
“I swear it,” he growled deeply enough I could feel his chest rumble against my side. “And when we defeat Lycaonus, I’m going to show youjustwhat that means.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
