Page 65 of Veiled Fate
After two days of running in our wolf forms, we were deep into the northern mountains. The weather had cooperated until that morning, when it had dumped a load of rain on us, making the trails treacherous. Having hands that could grip things if we started to slip or fall was deemed prudent, and so we’d shifted back.
“About his father. The two of them were close.”
“Ah.” I lengthened my stride just long enough that I reached the narrowing of the trail before Kiel, taking the lead for the next bit.
“Jada?”
I grimaced, glad he couldn’t see my face and the cowardice it had to be displaying. “Well, things were rushed, and there wasn’t much time before we split up. Not to mention I’d just fought Lycaonus and actively used Fate, so my mind was elsewhere …”
“Please tell me you told Gare his father was dead, that he died sacrificing himself for everyone else?” Kiel growled. “That you didn’t let him go, thinking Tave was still sitting at home, healing, waiting.”
I put my head down and picked up the pace. According to Kiel, Mount Triumph was the next one in the chain. We were close, and with sundown coming on fast, if we pushed it, perhaps we could clear our current climb, leaving tomorrow to ascend Mount Triumph to the Temple of Blessed Fate.
“Jada.”
Kiel’s voice was sharp, forcing me to stop and confront him.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want Gare to blame himself. Then we split up, and Gare went with the first group, and before I could do it, he was gone.”
Kiel’s brow furrowed inward in a frown, partially obscuring the judgment in his gaze. “Why would Gare blame himself for what happened?”
I sighed. “When I went to Tave, he said no. He wasn’t willing to ask the other for help. Said that they didn’t owe the prisoners anything and that his men had suffered enough.”
Understanding dawned. “But Gare stepped in and decided it was a worthwhile cause,” he said, filling in the rest of the story.
“Exactly,” I said. “I know I should have told him anyway. I was a coward and took the easy way out.”
“Yes, you did,” Kiel rumbled.
I shrank away from him, unable to handle the disappointment written across his face. The pursed lips, the downturn of his eyes, it was too much.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head. “But I don’t know how you do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not like you, Kiel. I’m not strong like you are. I’m not a leader. I’m in this because of who I was born to. Not because of anything I can do.”
He looked at me, then away, and without a word, pushed past me, continuing our trek.
I didn’t immediately follow, more confused at the sudden change in his demeanor than anything.
“I wasn’t born with any more strength than the next man.”
Kiel’s voice carried back to me, snapping me into motion as I hurried to catch up while he was still talking.
“Do you think I would have felt any different than you did?” he asked as I walked behind him, the trail still forcing us to walk single-file. “That it would beeasyfor me to tell a man his father is dead?”
“I don’t know.” The guilt of my actions settled in deeper. I’d known once we were safe on the barge that I should have told Gare. That he shouldn’t have had to find out some other way. But I didn’t want to be that person, that constant harbinger of bad news. “How do you do it? How do you tell someone that their loved one is dead?”
“Because youmust,” Kiel rumbled, the anger in his voice like distant thunder washing over me.
Anger atme.
I hated knowing I’d done the wrong thing, betraying someone and disappointing another. Our raid to free the prisoners had been a smashing success aside from Tave—at least until Lycaonus had shown up.
But now it had the stench of failure because of my inaction. My weakness.
“I can’t do this,” I said. “I’m not strong like you.”
