Page 54 of Broken Fate
When it became apparent I wasn’t about to be attacked, I squared myself up, trying to calm the sudden racing of my heart. I’d clearly triggered something, but what and why? How come he was so offended by a simple curse?
“Kiel,” I said as he tried to walk away and end the conversation. “Are you dying?”
There was no faking the astonishment that filled him. “Am Iwhat?” he almost barked.
“Are you dying?” I repeated, waving my hands at him. “Is this mission to destroy the stones—one you’ve avoided before—are you doing it now because you want to leave some sort of legacy behind? Because a lot of people will die if you don’t consider the consequences.”
Coldness replaced the shock as anger at my insinuation took root.
“You think you know consequences and death, do you?” he hissed furiously. “Just because your parents were killed?”
I stiffened, my temper rising to match his. “My sister is dead, too,” I bit back. “But thank you for the reminder.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know death. You think you do, but you’re just beginning to experience it, Jada. To feel the pain of having those you care about ripped away from you. To experience that lossover and overagain. Taking a little bit of you with it each time. Until there’s nothing left.”
“You’re a cold bastard,” I spat. “Why? Why are you like this? Do you not care about anyone besides yourself?”
Before I could blink, Kiel was in my face, towering over me, blue eyes wide with fury. “Idocare,” he said with icy harshness that sent pinpricks down my spine. “I care a lot. Too much. That’s why I hold back. So I don’t get hurt anymore.”
He held my eyes, and for a moment, Isaw. Not the hard exterior or the fierce warrior. But themanon the interior. A man who’d been stripped raw and seen far too much death. More than I could ever comprehend. The abyss of his agony yawned wide, a blackness that threatened to swallow him and everyone around him. Only the steel of his personality held it back.
But only barely.
Fingers trembling, I placed a hand on his chest. Kiel reared backward in surprise, but he didn’t pull out of my reach.
“You’re only hurting yourself more by denying it all,” I whispered. “By keeping everyone away.”
He snorted. “What do you think I should do?” he asked bitterly, almost sarcastically. “Let you in?”
“Maybe.” I tried to stay calm. Did that mean hewantedto let me in? Had he almost done so at the stream? Was that why he’d treated me so coldly? Because …
“I can’t,” he said, his exterior faltering for a moment.
“Why not?” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure he heard me.
“Because.” He shuddered as I splayed my fingers wide on his chest. “Because you’ll die. You’ll all die.”
“So will you,” I countered. “Eventually, we all die, Kiel.”
He stiffened but didn’t reply, and the silence carried on. High above somewhere, a bird cried out.
“Is that it?” I pushed gently after a bit. “Is there nothing more you have to say? Are we just going to ignore my questions and move on?”
“If you keep asking them, yes.”
I sighed, pulling my hand back as the gulf between us widened. I’d surprised myself with how far I’d been willing to put myself out there, but clearly, Kiel wasn’t interested in reciprocating.
“I’ve told you all you need to know,” he continued, watching my hand as it dropped to my side, his eyes roaming across my bare skin for a moment before ratcheting back up to my face. “The rest isn’t relevant to our mission.”
I frowned. “It isn’t?” That was more information than I’d had before.
“No,” he said rather firmly. “It pertains to me, not the group as a whole.”
The honesty in his voice was clear, but … “I’m not sure that’s up for you to decide,” I told him. “If we’re going into something this deadly and dangerous, we should know if something’s going on with you. Something that, in the heat of the moment, could jeopardize the rest of us even further. Because something haschanged, Kiel, and we need to know what that is.”
“You’re wrong,” he said just a bit heatedly.
I poked him in the chest. Hard. Letting him know the tone wasn’t okay. “You don’t get to decide that,” I fired back.
