Page 77 of Prince of Storms
“You finished cleaning his house already? Or did he like it when you cleaned something else instead?”
I glared at her as Timothy choked on his own spit in the next room.
“Hegaveit to me,” I said sternly. “As a parting gift.”
“Parting gift?”
I nodded. “It’s complicated. But I had to leave. Before things got … involved.”
“They were already involved,” Ally said. “Remember? I was there.”
“Not that,” I said. “Involved.”
Ally frowned, thinking it over. Then she gasped. “Youfell for him! That’s what you mean. Feelings. Real feelings?”
I nodded.
“And you screwed it up?” she yelped.
“What? No!” I said sharply enough that Axel looked at me. “Oh, it’s okay, little guy, it’s okay. There, just relax.”
I cooed at him for a few more seconds until his attention turned back to his fist, keeping him focused on that again.
“So you messed it up.”
“I did not,” I said, hauling back on my emotions to make sure I didn’t snap at my best friend. “Ileft. He gave me the car, saying he hoped that at least would make me happy.”
“Heavy line. Could he not make you happy, though?” she asked.
“Maybe,” I admitted. “But, Al, that’s why I had to leave, don’t you see?”
“No. No, Mia, I don’t see. At all. You liked him. He liked you. That’s how it’s supposed to go. Why on Earth did you leave that?”
“Because I’m scared, okay?” I said, my eyes welling up. I handed the baby over for a cleaning. “I’m scared.”
“You can’t go through your entire life being scared, Mia,” she said, crossing the kitchen to put Axel into his rocker. Then she came and enveloped me in a hug. “You have to let go of your fear at some point. It’s not good for you to be like this.”
“But … but what if I do let myself care,” I moaned, “and then I lose him, too?”
“Why would you lose him?”
I couldn’t tell her about Rica or the Vorgans or any of the things that threatened to kill Torrent and take him from me if I decided to stay.
“It’s ... just what if I did? There are all sorts of things that could happen.”
I saw him flying through the windshield again. Sure, he was a dragon, but what if Rica sent the car flying off a cliff next time? I doubted he would survive that fall without being able to slow himself. I wasn’t going to open myself up for someone who could be dead in three days. I just couldn’t do it!
“Of course, there are things that could happen,” Ally said. “We could fall over dead at any point, without warning. Heart attack, brain aneurysm, undetected cancer, and more. There are a million ways any of us could die at any time, dear. At some point in your life, you’re going to lose other people.”
“Yes, but this way, I minimize that,” I whispered, knowing it sounded silly but unable to stop myself.
“You’re missing the point, though,” Ally said, forging ahead. “Do you know what it means when you miss someone as much as you miss your mom?”
“What?” I asked, dabbing at my cheeks.
“It means that you loved them and lived a life so full of that person before they passed. That hurt you experienced is born from years, decades, of experiences, shared memories, and moments with that person. It’s a sign of all the wonderful and good you shared with them.That’swhat creates that pain. Yes, you lose them, or perhaps they lose you, but think of all that love you had that comes from letting yourself care for them in the first place. That’s what’s most important.”
“But the pain,” I whispered, feeling that gnawing void once more.
