Page 78 of Bearing Secrets
She slid to the floor, holding the envelope containing the job offer, trying to hold back her tears. This would be the third time she’d cried over the situation in as many hours, and frankly she was starting to get annoyed at herself. After all, this was her decision, and it was the right one.
So why am I so sad?
The answer was because she was packing up the last eight years of her life in preparation for heading back to a home she’d never intended to go to, except perhaps to visit when she introduced a fiancé or something to her family. This wasn’t the course she’d expected her life to go on, but sometimes things were out of her control.
It all started with the government’s refusal to grant her a work visa. Someone up there was cruel and felt like punishing her, though she couldn’t fathom why. All her paperwork had been in order, but some button-pusher had decided to screw her over. She was a contributing member of society; couldn’t they see that?!
Her phone buzzed loudly from the nearby dresser, but she let it ring. It was going to be Loren again, and she just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She’d responded to one text to let her friend know she was okay and that she just needed some time to herself, but otherwise she’d ignored the repeated attempts to reach her, convincing herself that being alone was for the best just then.
Apparently, Loren had other ideas. The storm door creaked open, audible even in her bedroom, and moments after that a key sounded in the lock. Loren and her landlord were the only two who had keys, and only one of them would enter unannounced.
“Pick up your damn phone next time, will you?” The perky blonde burst into her room and surveyed the situation all in the span of a few seconds.
“What the hell is going on?”
Natalia didn’t answer, staring intently on something only she could see on her hands. It was obvious what was going on, so she didn’t bother acknowledging it.
“I thought you were staying, now I come over here and you’ve got makeup running down your face, so clearly you’ve been crying, and you’re packing everything up? What the hell’s changed?”
“I can’t stay,” she said softly.
“Why the hell not?”
“Because it puts Kirell in danger.”
Loren laughed. “I’m sorry, did you just say that your six-and-a-half-foot-tall roadblock of a boyfriend would be in danger fromyou?”
“He’s not my boyfriend, but yes.”
“Well that’s a load of shit and you know it.”
Except it wasn’t. How was she supposed to tell Loren that, while keeping all the secrets she’d been sworn to? It was impossible. Too much of it rested on the idea that his real mate would surface at some point and the truth would be revealed.
“I can’t stay with him. It’s difficult to explain, but…I’m not of the proper caste to be with him. For his family, at least. They don’t approve of me, and he needs their support.”
Loren flopped down on the bed, sending piles of half-folded clothes into disarray. “That sounds like one of those things idiots tell themselves. Does he know you’re leaving?”
“No,” she said quietly, still refusing to look her friend in the eye.
“You’re running away. That’s what I’m picking up on here. You’re running because of something you don’t want to tell me.”
She grimaced.
“Don’t you just hate it when someone knows you better than you know yourself?” Loren drawled. “Because this is how I feel when you usually givemethe advice. I gotta admit, this is a pretty empowering sensation though. Kind of nice to finally call you out on your shit.”
“Fuck you,” Natalia said, but didn’t mean it.
“Why are you really running?” Loren’s voice was softer now, the sarcasm of a moment ago gone just as fast as it arrived.
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
Her friend exhaled slowly. “Okay. Well, let’s get you packed up then. I’ll drive you to the airport. When’s your flight?”
“I don’t have one yet. I’ll book it once I’m there.”
“Okay. Well, let’s get going.”
She finally looked up. “Really? You’re going to help me?”
