Page 75 of Bearing Secrets
“Please, in private like this at least, call me Kaelyn. I was just a regular person like you once. I’m not as fond of these trappings as you might think.”
“Regular person? I can’t change into some sort of monstrous bear on a whim. That’s kind of a big difference.”
The Queen—no,Kaelyn—smirked knowingly, like she had a secret, but didn’t elaborate, choosing instead just to nod. “Perhaps. Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that hedoescare for you.”
Natalia looked away. “If you say so.”
“You needn’t be afraid,” she said quietly, reaching out to place a hand on Natalia’s arm. “It’s not a bad thing to care for one another.”
“We don’t care,” Natalia murmured quietly. “You know that. You know the truth.”
Kaelyn smiled. “Indeed, I do. The question is, doyou?”
Natalia rocked back on her heels, forced to consider something she’d expressly forbidden herself from thinking about.
On the bed in front of them, Kirell stirred slightly, a pained groan faintly audible before he collapsed back into his sleep, or unconsciousness, whichever it was. Natalia didn’t know, because she was too busy trying to deal with the sensation his movement had awoken inside her.
Fear. But why was she scared? If this was a sham, as the two of them had discussed and agreed it would be, why was she scared he might not make it through? Could she blame it all on the fact she wouldn’t get her Green Card? As much as she wished to, that seemed like a stretch. A big one.
Maybe it was borne from the fact that she wanted him to get better. That made sense of course. He was a good person, and she didn’t want to see him crippled or killed. Just like anyone.
It’s more than that.
“How can you know?” she asked quietly, still staring at Kirell.
“I didn’t. Not until you attacked me, and I saw the way you looked at him as he lay on the bed. You might be lying to yourself, but to someone who knows what to look for, it’s plain as day, Natalia.” There was a lengthy pause. “Have you told him how you feel?”
“Of course not.” She fidgeted with the comforter. “I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know how he feels.”
Turning away, she walked across the room, stopping short of the wall before spinning and heading back. “You’re sure he…cares… for me?” She was reluctant to use any stronger word.
Kaelyn looked her straight on. Almost. The head of the Ursidae was a few inches taller than her, but it was close enough. Amber met jade and they locked on, looking deep into one another.
“What do I do?” she asked at last, feeling confused, and more than a little scared.
On the bed behind them Kirell stirred again, making more noise.
Kaelyn smiled. “I’ll leave that up to the two of you. You have much to discuss. What you do from there, however, is entirely up to you, you understand? Nobody can force you to do anything. You’ll have to make that choice yourself. I just needed to ensure you were seeing all sides clearly.”
Natalia curtsied a little less clumsily than the first time and received a polite nod in return, then the Queen was gone, disappearing back through the wall panel from which they’d come. As the trailing guard passed her by, he handed her the knife, handle first.
“Next time, keep quiet. You were closer than you think.” Then he too was gone.
“N…” Her eyes shot back over to the bed as Kirell made a coherent sound. “Na—”
“I’m here,” she said, clutching gently at his upper arm, wishing fervently she could hold his fingers but they had all been broken. “I’m here, Kirell.”
“Natalia,” he said, forcing the word out from between his broken jaw and mangled lips. “Natalia.”
“Right here. I have you.”
She stayed by his side as he slowly returned to consciousness. It took him the better part of an hour, during which she clung to him. The Queen was right, she realized as she watched him heal literally before her eyes.I do care for him. A lot.
It scared the hell out of her to admit that, even silently to herself. She’d tried her best to remain detached, to treat it as a business deal with a side of physical pleasure, but despite that, she’d failed. She’d allowed feelings to form for him. That was the worst. What was she going to do, stick around?
That was impossible of course. One day, Kirell’s real mate would show up, and then there would be all hell to pay as the lie they’d concocted unravelled around them. She couldn’t risk doing that to him, and to Kaelyn. No, Natalia had to bury her feelings, to scorch the earth between her and Kirell to prevent pesky things such as attraction from causing trouble for everyone involved.
It would be for the best, she decided, if she left. Just took all her things and left. No more Kirell, no more Kaelyn. Say goodbye to the manor and to shapeshifters and magic and this whole entire world she’d stumbled into simply by agreeing to go out with her friend one night.
