Page 63 of Bearing Secrets
Why did I have to come home now? When he needs me the most?
“I’m sorry for keeping things from you,” he said abruptly. “I shouldn’t have done that. Not after I trusted you with my secret. I should have been open about the potential dangers.”
She closed her eyes. “Kirell, it’s fine. It’s no big deal.” It was, but right now that wasn’t what they needed to focus upon. She needed to know he wouldn’t do anything stupid before she got there, like start other fights. Or worse.
“No, I’m serious. I’ll tell you everything, if you’ll give me the chance.”
“Is there more I don’t know?”
“A lot.” Pause. “Though I don’t think any of it will affect you.” Pause. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to come back, to give me another chance. I’ll get it. I’ll deal with the consequences myself.”
She realized then that he wasn’t really hearing her. That he was so lost in his own grief, he was trying to set right any wrongs he felt he’d made—probably in an attempt to atone for what he felt like was a horrible thing in killing his former friend.
For a moment, she considered not going back. Not letting herself get dragged back into the crazy world of shifters and who knew what else. But only for a second. After that, her doubts vanished, and she realized she wanted to go back. Not for those reasons, but for Kirell. She wanted to see him again.
On top of that, she wanted to stay in the country, and that required fulfilling her end of the bargain to him. Natalia had worked too hard, and too long, to give up on that dream now that it was attainable. Besides, she was already in danger from his world. How much worse could it get?
“I’ll come back,” she said at last, finalizing her decision. “I’ll help you with this afternoon, but anything else is…over.”
She needed to make that break, to keep things between them strictly business; as much as she’d told Loren she liked his company, she didn’t want to live in constant fear. It wasn’t worth it.
I think.
“I understand,” Kirell said, the blackness of his mood evident even over the phone.
Normally, Natalia would assume the tone of his words was directed at her, but this time she knew he was pitying himself, angry at his own actions, blaming himself for the way things were.
“I’ll bring back the car too,” she said lightly, trying to change the subject.
There was a long pause. He was probably grappling with whether or not to go along with her.
“Thank you. I haven’t filed a police report yet about it being stolen, but I was close.”
“I didn’t steal it!” she protested, wondering how serious he was. “I just…borrowed it.”
“Technically, you stole it. It’s not yours, you don’t have any papers proving it. The police might disagree with you.”
“Okay, okay,” she said, keeping her laughter to a minimum so as not to scare him off from the different mood of the conversation. “I’ll bring it back.”
“Gassed up?”
She snorted. “Don’t get greedy. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
Kirell inhaled sharply. “Thank you.”
Natalia wasn’t sure how much reaching out to her had cost him, but she suspected it was a lot.
“You’re welcome, Kirell.”
She hung up the phone and got out of bed, preparing to drive right back into the den of politics, intrigue and old-world craziness that she’d fled just the night before.
“What the hell am I thinking? Why am I doing this?”
The only answer her brain provided was an image of Kirell.
29
The gate opened to admit her and she drove in slowly, relishing the last few minutes she would have in it.
