Page 58 of The Swan Syndicate
“This is a bad idea.”
“You started it, mate.” Jamie’s grin was back.
“And I’m regretting that decision every day.” Beckworth had started it. He’d used the swans when they’d been running from Gemini. Then Barrington had used them again when the team searched for him. It had seemed such a good idea at the time.
He stood and dropped the swan, now with a bit of a bent wing, on the desk.
Before he left, Jamie said, “We’ll protect her.”
He nodded and closed the door behind him. His first inclination was to find where Fitz had stashed Jamie’s case of whiskey, but his feet took him back to their cabin. Jamie’s words echoed in his ears. They’ll protect her. He had to give Jamie credit for giving it a go, considering his own attempts, Beckworth had never seemed capable of doing it himself.
Beckworth gave a light tap on the cabin door and held his breath before entering. Would she be defiant? Curious? Demanding to know every detail? He wasn’t expecting what he found instead.
He closed the door behind him. She took his breath away as she’d never done before.
She sat in the middle of the bed, her arms locked around her knees. At that moment, she appeared so tiny until his gaze locked on her face surrounded by untamed auburn locks. Her green eyes were huge, which would give most men a false idea that she was wounded.
Fragile.
He almost snorted. He knew this face. Stubborn. And though he caught a spark of fear, she was ready for a fight.
She didn’t speak as he removed his jacket and then his boots. He let the gentle sway of the ship keep the peace between them as he crawled onto the bed and sat next to her. They didn’t touch, but he was close.
His first thought was to immediately tell her what he and Jamie had spoken about. To explain what they needed from her in the next phase of the mission. Hell, he wanted to tell her how worried he was for her, but that he’d be there to protect her.
Instead, he said nothing. Something was troubling her, and he wanted to know what it was. While they’d been in Baywood, it seemed there wasn’t any thought they didn’t share. He wasn’t sure if that was normal or because their relationship was still young. Yet, the minute they traveled to this time, walls went up.
Would that have happened if they had arrived and hadn’t found Hensley waiting with a mission? He could assume or rationalize, but the truth was, he didn’t know. All of this was so new. He’d never had anyone care so much when he left for a mission. Not the way she did.
He continued to wait.
After another minute of silence, she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Are you sending me back to Waverly?”
God’s blood.It never occurred to him that she’d think that. But why not? He’d thought it dozens of times.
He took her hand and gently rubbed it with his thumb. It was a small hand. Delicate. He turned it over and ran a finger across the fine lines of her palm. There were thin callouses from her gardening shears and perhaps from helping with the lines as Michelson showed her how to trim the sails.
“It crossed my mind.” He waited while her body tensed then slowly relaxed. “But I’d have a fight on my hands, wouldn’t I?”
With her head still resting on his shoulder, she said, “Damn straight.”
He chuckled and slowly moved her so he could wrap an arm around her. He kissed the top of her head. “You know I worry for you.”
“I worry for you, too.”
“What a pair we make, Lady Caldway.”
“Indeed, Lord Beckworth.”
He held her for some time. Her simple presence, the feel of her in his arms, soothed him. Settled him. And he wanted the moment to last as long as possible before he told her. She’d be excited, which would only increase his worry. He suddenly wished they were at Waverly, dealing with the madness of preparing the manor for a weekend of friends.
He released a slow breath. They had a mission. She would do her part and play her role, but asking her to do this would be the most difficult thing he’d ever done. Even more than when he’d stood in the woods at Waverly and watched her disappear into the fog with AJ and Finn.
The day his heart broke. He couldn’t lose her again.
He gave her a long hug then released her.
