Page 51 of Betrayed in Blood
“That makes sense.”
I glowered at her. “So, explain it to me.”
She scooted to the edge of the sofa, sipped her coffee, then turned to me. “Your contract was to help him get his censure removed. We’re way beyond that now. This has turned from a seat on the Council to something that could upturn the entire vamp society. He’s going after Lorenzo. This is bigger than either of us. He wants you to make a decision on your own. Do you want to be in this fight? If so, would it be by his side?” She took my hand again. “Now, you have Colantha. You’re both dreamwalkers. Would you prefer to stand with her during the war instead of Devon?”
“Why can’t I do both?”
She shook her head. “You’re being obstinate. It’s not about that. Dreamwalkers are going to be part of this one way or another. Standing by Devon doesn’t mean you’re not standing with the dreamwalkers. It just means you want to be with him. Not as a boss or a House leader but as a vampire.”
“I told him I loved him.”
“For the first time?”
I shrugged and rubbed my face. “I only vaguely remember saying it. Sometimes, I can’t remember what was a shared dream or the real deal.”
“Maybe that’s why he suggested Oasis. We’re on lockdown. He’s not going to let you just take off to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. Oasis provides a buffer between you.”
“And why bring you into it?”
She rolled her eyes. “I think you need another cup of coffee. Or maybe the hair of the dog.”
I was still confused, so I finished the second cup and poured a third.
“The only reason I’m here is because of you. Everything has changed now that I’m with Lucas, but maybe he’s concerned about whether both of us are here because of the debt. We could take that bank account and find a place to hide until the war is over.”
Everything was starting to click. I touched my lips. He’d given me a passionate kiss before he left. He wasn’t sending me away. He was giving me the freedom to choose.
“I don’t want to leave.” The words seemed strange, but the more I repeated them in my head they seemed to be true.
“Well, good. I don’t want to leave, either.” This time, she took both my hands. “I love Lucas, and I don’t want to leave him, especially if he’s going into battle. Whatever that looks like. But if you need to go, I’ll go with you. You’re not leaving here alone.”
I nodded. Tears welling up again. This time, because of how much I owed this woman. When had she become the adult in the room? I snorted out a laugh. “I’m okay now.”
She gave me a long look, squeezed my hands, then stood. “I think that’s still open for debate, but I’ll leave you to your thoughts. I need to run.” She gave me a look before leaving, and I just waved with what I hoped was a convincing smile.
I turned back to my coffee, curled my legs underneath me, and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch to wrap over my shoulders.
I was free.
I had no idea how to face that reality. I had my own account with a shitload of money. Ginger and I could disappear until Devon’s war was over. Did he want me to go? Did I want to go?
Some days, it seemed better not to have the freedom to make my own choices.
After my talk with Ginger,I worked out in the training room for a couple of hours. Nothing too physically demanding as I ran through a mini obstacle course using the climbing walls and ropes before cooling down with a couple martial arts routines. They were exercises I could perform by rote, which was good since my head wasn’t in the game.
The idea that I no longer owed a debt, that both Ginger and I were free, was slow to accept. It seemed we’d lived with it over our heads for so long it had become as natural as breathing. Even though my last job before Sorrento had captured me all those months ago would have only scraped a portion of what I owed, it kept me focused on finding larger jobs with bigger payoffs. Then, I landed in the world of vamps.
My entire life had changed, and I’d forgotten all about the debt.
Was that because of Devon or because I discovered a part of myself that I’d been sheltered from my entire life? I was a dreamwalker. When I tried to separate Devon, his mission, and my knowledge of my heritage, I couldn’t. They seemed irrevocably connected.
After training, my mind calmer, if still not accepting of the fact I was debt free with a sizeable bank account, I hit the pool. By the time I took a shower and dressed, I went in search of Devon to have a deeper conversation, only to discover he wasn’t at the manor. No one could tell me where he went. At first, all my insecurities returned with Devon’s whispered words about sending me to Oasis.
I shook it off. It didn’t surprise me that the vamps I’d asked wouldn’t know Devon’s schedule, and other than Lucas, who was locked down with Colantha, the rest of the cadre couldn’t be found. Colantha had wanted me to join them, but Ginger would give me an out. Then I cringed at how much she might share with Lucas and Colantha and decided to hide away with Lyra. My plan was destroyed when I found a vamp stationed at her door. She was resting and wasn’t to be disturbed.
I somewhat expected that. She was no doubt depressed over Hamilton and needed time alone. It made sense, but it left me with absolutely nothing else to do.
Cook was my last resort. It was after the lunch hour, and I could use something to eat since I’d missed lunch. The kitchen smelled of savory meats, and Cook was at his counter, making small pie shells.
