Page 50 of His Beloved Princess
“We need to stay here for the night,” I said after assessing the pros and cons. “We didn’t meet any cars, and it’s possible that during the night, no one will go by either,” I continued when she lifted her head to look at me. “We can sleep in the car, and in the morning, we will walk. With a bit of luck, we’ll find civilization.”
She gave me a small smile, nodding her agreement. The car crashed only on the driver’s side, so we folded down the seats and climbed into the trunk. Even with my height, I could comfortably stretch my legs.
Thank goodness for extended SUVs.
We were lying next to each other, but none of us broke the silence. I didn’t think it was the right moment to talk about my sins, and Electra was surely tired after all that drama, so I let her be. I supported my still-dizzy head with my arm, staring at the ceiling, when she turned around and hugged me. I was so surprised that my whole body stiffened, and she giggled into my chest.
“I’m furious with you,” she whispered, yet I knew she was smiling. “But I’m also happy that you’re alive.”
I put my arm down, resting it on her back when she wriggled, trying to find a comfortable position. For another few long minutes, we were quiet; only her breathing was heard, and eventually, I decided to talk. Maybe she was already sleeping, and I would have to repeat myself tomorrow, but I couldn’t find peace with such a heavy heart.
“I haven’t had sex with Rose for more than ten years,” I started, checking if she had moved, but she was still. “We broke up and went our separate ways until one night five years ago.” I closed my eyes, recalling the events of thatdreadful evening.
“The police called me to come to the hospital. In her papers, I was still listed as the person who should be contacted if something happened to her.” I gulped, feeling a lump form in my throat. Even after all those years, I hadn’t been able to erase the image that I saw in the hospital from my mind.
“Rose was heavily beaten, and after a long surgery, her life was still in danger,” I whispered, fisting my palm. I looked down, connecting my eyes with Electra’s, who was listening to my every word. “Her insane boyfriend had held her captive for two months, beating and raping her. She was lucky to be alive.”
“Oh, my God.” Electra squeezed my hand, but I couldn’t allow her to interrupt me. It was only the beginning of the story.
“After this...experience, Rose became depressed; she was scared of everything and everyone. She almost took her own life.”
Electra covered her mouth, pressing her forehead against my chest. I knew she was crying. Truth be told, I was too. I never told anyone about the real reason for my contract with Rose. Andreas had copies of all my agreements, but this one was sealed, and he swore on his life never to look inside. It was Rose’s condition. I had to promise never to tell a living soul what happened to her. But she understood how important my princess was to me and permitted me to share that secret with her. I would be forever grateful for that.
“Why the contract?” Electra asked, giving me a sad look. The small light in the front of the car was enough for us to see each other.
“It’s more complicated than a piece of paper,” I stated, wiping my cheek with the back of my hand. “Rose believes in contracts. If she has a signed agreement in her hands, she feels safe. So I did it for her.” I shrugged, thinking about my next words. I wanted to be honest, but I could ruin everything if I explained it wrong.
“The whole thing is about being her support, her friend, and her safe place.” Electra’s eyes widened, but she didn’t interrupt me with another question, so I proceeded with my explanation. “There is nothing sexual between us, but before I signed a contract with you, we practiced shibari or kinbaku.”
“What?” Electra breathed; her eyes were as big as saucers. I expected her not to know what I was talking about, but her expression told me she knew very well what shibari was.
“Let me explain, please,” I pleaded, and she slowly nodded, furrowing her eyebrows. “First, we were always dressed, and there was no sex involved,” I stated with all the certainty I was capable of, and because she didn’t slap my face or attack me in any other way, I continued, “Second, for me, it’s an art. I spent years learning and practicing it. For her, it’s a form of relaxation. She could switch into her subspace easily without being afraid of anything.”
I gently took Electra’s hand, not knowing what else to say for her to understand. I cared for Rose, but it was different from before. We were friends. I was helping her, that was all.
“Bondage is very intimate,” my princess muttered, staring at our entwined fingers. “You never suggested it to me.” She looked at me, a hint of reproach flashing into her hazel eyes. “Why?”
“Because you’re new to all of this,” I replied, trying for a calm tone, but my voice wavered. I was too emotional when it came to her. “Everything was great between us, and I didn’t want to rush it. It’s not a newbie thing, but I promise that if you want to try it, I’ll happily provide an unforgettable experience.”
“Maybe one day.” She bit her lower lip, almost chewing it off. With my thumb, I touched her mouth to stop her from bruising herself.
“I’m sorry, princess, for being a coward and not telling you about her,” I whispered, caressing her cheek. “The last thing I would ever want is to hurt you.“
“You lied to me.” She covered my palm with hers on her face, and she slowly pulled my hand down. “You punished me for lying while you’ve been hiding another woman from me.”
“I didn’t lie, sweetie. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it.” I tried hard to make her understand my point, but it felt like I was losing. My heart skipped two beats in a row when I realized that I was just a few sentences away from a harrowing breakup.
“So, you don’t think it’s lying?” She raised her eyebrows, lifting herself and sitting on her heels.
“If you consider it lying, then I agree with you,” I replied, suppressing a smile because of her surprised face. She didn’t know what I was capable of when it came to her, and I was ready to do anything for her forgiveness.
“Electra, if you want me to grovel, fine. I’ll gladly spend half of my life on my knees begging you to give me another chance.” I supported my upper body on my elbows, ignoring the pain in my forearm and the dizziness clouding my brain. I was fighting for my future. “I’ll take any punishment; I’ll do anything to get you back.”
“Why? You can have any woman in the world.” Her words cut deep into my soul. She really doubted me so much that I almost started to doubt myself.
“I love you, princess. You’re the only one I want.” I watched her face light up, and her lips stretched into a familiar, radiant smile. All I wanted in that moment was to take her into my arms and chase away all her worries and insecurities. I had to repair everything I'd broken with my stupid decisions. She deserved much more than this.
"So, you're saying that if I decide to cane your ass for lying, you'll agree?" She lifted her eyebrows expectantly, and her eyes glowed with mischief.
