Page 34 of His Beloved Princess
"Look at me!" Bastian commanded sternly out of the blue, and my body reacted instinctively. I raised my head, locking my gaze with his. My palms trembled, and my heart beat so hard that it almost burst through my ribcage.
"Come here." He stretched his arms out, gently taking my hands and pulling me closer. I didn't fight him when he sat me on his lap, and I wrapped my legs around him. We were naked, and there was nothing between us but a few inches of free space. Even still, I felt disconnected from him.
Maybe it was because I couldn't look into his eyes. I was embarrassed that I had picked a lie again instead of telling him the truth. Somehow, I knew that the worst part of that dreadful conversation wouldn't be about the sex with his brother but about me choosing the wrong thing to do.
"You don't need to speak if you don't want to, sweetie," Bastian whispered, gently stroking my back with his open palm. "Just calm down, that's all."
My lower lip quivered when I tried to fight the tears. I was looking at his naked chest, squeezing his shoulders, doing my best to slow down my erratic heartbeat. However, I knew very well that talking to him was the only way out of this.
I believed he would forgive me. He wasn't a monster, and I had good reasons for it. Yet the basis for a BDSM relationship was trust. And since the beginning, I had been testing Bastian's limits. It was just a matter of time before I crossed the line.
"I'm s-scared," I stammered, and after a few moments of silence, my voice broke into sobbing.
"Scared of what, baby girl?" he asked, moving his palms soothingly up and down my arms because I put my hands on his abdomen, avoiding eye contact again.
"That you'll hate me," I replied, wiping my cheeks and releasing a deep, shaky breath.
"Hate you?" he echoed, clearly surprised. "Why would I hate you?"
He enveloped me with his arms, pulling me onto his chest, and I hid my face in the crook of his neck. I wanted to enjoy this closeness for as long as possible before I broke our connection. No matter how much I tried to console myself that everything would be okay and that I slept with Peter before we met, I wasn't honest, and that was the real problem.
"I don't know what is going on, princess," Bastian whispered, brushing my wet hair with his long fingers. "You're using very serious words. I need an explanation."
I gathered all my remaining strength and pulled away from him. He allowed me to move only a few inches so I could look into his worried eyes. God, he was handsome, loving, and caring. How could I exchange all of this for one lie? Why was I so stupid?
"I think you'll release me from the contract," I mumbled, licking my lips and preparing for the inevitable.
"Electra, stop saying what I will do and tell me what you have done." There was clear annoyance evident in his voice. He was losing his patience. The best I could do was to come clean before he got angry.
"I crossed the line," I stated, and his thick black eyebrows shot up. "I lied again, and it's serious."
"Okay." He sucked hislower lip into his mouth, watching my face while he slowly released it.
"Before you continue," he started softly, taking my hand. He opened my palm and pressed it against his chest, where his heart was beating. I bit my tongue, swallowing the huge lump that had formed in my throat. "I need you to know that there is only one thing that would make me consider the instant termination of our contract and end our relationship, and that's infidelity. You won't get away from me anytime soon if your crime isn't cheating."
He squeezed my hand on his chest, moving it to his lips and kissing my palm. My fear slowly faded away, but the pain stayed. I felt like the worst possible choice for him. He could've had a much better woman. He could've been with someone who wouldn't choose to hurt him. My mother was right; I didn't deserve to be loved. All I ever did was destroy the bond with everyone who cared for me.
"The only way to get through this is to talk," Bastian said, placing his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Eventually, we will be okay."
"Promise?" I peeped, nervously playing with my trembling fingers.
"Promise." He pecked my forehead, then my nose, and he ended up on my lips, kissing me while I melted under his touch.
Thanks to his gentle behavior and encouragement, I calmed down, allowing myself to relax. Being punished for lying was something I expected, and actually, I needed it desperately. I just didn't want him to be angry and disappointed with me.
"What is so horrible that you're terrified about my reaction, princess?" he asked when he pulled away, but his arms were tightly wrapped around me. He was proving to me that he wasn't going anywhere and that I was safe with him.
"It's about my and Peter's first meeting," I mumbled, lowering my head and staring at his chest.
"Yeah, that much I know," he grumbled, a hint of annoyance sneaking into his voice. I lifted my head, and my eyes widened in surprise when he gave me apointed look.
"You know about it?" I breathed, gulping my next question because I couldn't be sure how much he knew.
"You're acting weird since he showed up in my office." He shrugged like it was no big deal, but his eyes swirled with doubts. It was the same glint that I noticed at the grand opening. He suspected something, but he decided to believe me. "And the story about the mutual friend wasn't compelling either."
"I met Dylan only once," I admitted, swallowing the saliva appearing in my mouth. The bitter taste almost made me throw up.
"And Peter?" Bastian inquired, stroking my shoulder and moving his palm down my arm. His touch was very tender and calming.
