Page 57 of Gamble with Me
"Happy?" I echoed, musing if he really was so blind, considering our relationship was in shreds long ago, or if he just refused to believe we completely fell apart. "I've not been happy with you for over a year, Chester. I can't even look at you without feeling betrayed. You destroyed everything I ever felt for you with your lies."
"I'll make it right, baby doll," he claimed, placing his hands on my shoulder. His touch felt invasive, interfering with my personal space. I didn't want him close.
"There is nothing you can do to save our marriage," I stated, determination emitted from my every cell and nerve. I’d made up my mind. We were over.
"We have a daughter," he reminded me, looking like he was trying to find the last thing that would save us. "Will you break her family? Is that what you want?"
"Don't try to manipulate me with her," I said, wriggling to shake his hands off of me. "It's not healthy for her to watch her parents' constant fights."
"Do you understand what you're forcing me to do, Valeria?" Chester furrowed his brows, but his voice was unusually sweet. It alerted all my senses. "I will never let you leave this apartment with my daughter."
"I'm her mother," I ground out, fear gripping my heart. "You won't take her away from me."
"You're a mother who has suicidal tendencies, problems with drinking alcohol, and you also have a nice arrest record. How do you think it will look before the judge?"
"I was barely an adult," I breathed, shocked to the core that he pulled my mental health card. It was the darkest era of my life. I wasn't proud of my decisions back then. It was absurd to compare me with the person I was ten years ago.
"What about your depression after Zara was born?" Chester continued, completely disarming me. Of course, he knew about everything, but I would never have thought he would use it against me.
"It happens to some women," I whispered, helplessness holding me in its tight embrace.
"To unstable women," he corrected me, a smug grin crossing his face. We both knew he was winning now. "No judge will ever give you the full custody of our daughter after I present your files."
"Why do you hate me so much?" I whispered, overcoming the urge to cry. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears, but it cost me all my strength not to crumble before him.
"Hate you?" He raised his brows in surprise, gently cupping my chin. "I love you, Valeria. And I'll do everything to keep us together."
I couldn't believe my ears. The words coming out of his mouth were so dishonest. It was the biggest lie he’d ever told me. No one in their right mind would act like this.
But I didn't have the power to continue in this empty conversation. Chester made it perfectly clear he would stop at nothing to rip me away from Zara.
Involuntarily, I remembered Malin's words when I first met him and his brothers.
"It's a problem that can be solved with one bullet."
Oh, God!
"Dress in something nice, and I'll take you and Zara for lunch before the fun fair." Chester yanked me back to reality, letting go of my chin. "I believe you won't do anything to sabotage my plans."
I nodded, running from his reach as quickly as possible. Shutting the door into our bedroom, I sat on the ground with my back pressed against the door and hugged my knees.
My body was in cramps from the quiet, desperate sobs that wanted to tear me apart. Helplessness and anguish clawed at me like demons from the underworld that craved to drag my soul to hell.
I knew the feelings too well to let them win over me. They kept me company for years. Panic attacks, social anxiety, and eating disorders were just the tip of the iceberg. But I got out. I beat all those monsters and walked out of the battlefield much stronger. Yet I would never believe that the man I once trusted the most would use my weakness and fears against me.
Chester just fell to the complete bottom in my eyes, but it couldn't change the fact he was right. Who could know what the judge would think if Chester decided to uncover my files?
It didn't matter that he lost all the money in casinos because I had no proof. He spent his nights with dangerous people, but there was no record of it. Unlike me, his activities, deeds, and wrongdoings were hidden under the facade of an outstanding citizen, caring father, and loving husband.
Another wave of cries came, crushing me under the weight of realization. I had three options to continue with my life.
The first: to pack Zara's and my things and escape. We would never look back, but we would have to constantly change our destination so Chester wouldn't find us. His threats were imprinted in my memory.
The second: accept the fact I was a prisoner in a loveless marriage with a psychopath. It was a dreadful idea, but Zara would be safe, and her life wouldn't be affected as much as it would be with an escape.
The third was Malin's suggestion, which didn't look socrazy after all.
I covered my wet face with my palms, shaking my head. All options were terrible. None of them would bring me happiness and calmness. I was trapped in a circle without an option to leave unharmed. Whatever I did would mark my life for eternity.
