Page 12 of Gamble with Me
He looked as if he was possessed. He pinned me to the wall with his massive body and grabbed my neck with his bloody hand, squeezing my windpipes. I gasped for air, but he didn't care about my fight for oxygen. He was furious.
"You won't ever leave me, you fucking bitch!" he growled, watching my face redden. I could barely breathe, and he squeezed harder when I didn't confirm his words. "Do youunderstand? You and my daughter stay here!”
"Y-y-yes…" I whispered, tears of pure fright and helplessness escaping my eyes. He threw me on the floor with a disgusted groan, and I covered my sore throat with my trembling hands.
"See what you made me do?" He crouched next to me, moving the hair out of my drenched face. I shook violently, catching much-needed air into my deprived lungs while my heart almost collapsed. He was never violent, and this new version of him scared the shit out of me.
"Remember what I said, baby doll," he hissed in a low voice, his thumb caressing my cheek, but his touch was like a hot iron. It burned me, and all I could think about was getting as far away from him as possible. "You won't ever leave me."
He leaned closer, kissing my forehead while I did my best to suppress loud sobs. I was disgusted by him but too scared to push him away. Only when he left the apartment did I burst into crying.
This shocking turn of events crushed my plans to leave him in peace. I hoped for a conversation in which he would understand my reasons and let Zara and me go.
Obviously, it was only my greatest wish. And the worst thing was that he was right. I had no place to go. My parents died years ago. I had no money, and his mother, despite being a helper, would not go against him and let me stay with her if I wanted to divorce him. I was all alone, and he just turned into a complete maniac.
I didn’t know what he could do if I ran away with our daughter. And I wasn't sure I wanted to find out after what he'd just done. I was never afraid of my husband, but the last few minutes showed me he could shift into a violent monster.
The fear of leaving him was much stronger than the fear of staying with him, and eventually, I made up my mind. It was safer for me to play by his rules. Zara would live in blissful ignorance until I figured out what to do with our situation.
I was sure I would find a way to escape him with her by my side safely. I just had to be patient. The opportunity would arise, and we would be prepared.
-7-
Valeria
My life changed into a fairytale. Chester brought me flowers daily, drove Zara to school, bought us unnecessary expensive gifts, and supported my job hunt.
He never wanted me to work, but I didn't want to stay at home, and we frequently argued over it after Zara started kindergarten. However, he respected my decision this time and even got me a job interview for his friend's company.
I’d never dreamed of working as an assistant, but I had no choice if I wanted a paycheck. Still, after a long conversation with a kind lady at HR, we both acknowledged this wasn't the position for me. I was a leader, and answering phones and scheduling meetings was a waste of my potential. Chester said nothing, but I knew he was satisfied with it.
After our huge argument, he left every time the tension between us started to grow, and he apologized basically for everything. Based on his behavior, I knew he was sorry for his outburst, and eventually, he admitted that he liked it much more when I was at home and not surrounded by gamblers.
We had a long night's talk about the violent part of our fight, and he swore never to react that way again. I was cautious about his promises, though, and I didn't forgive him right away. Yet when I saw him with Zara, as he cooked her favorite meals, did homework with her, and put her to bed every night, I couldn't stop myself from thinking of giving him and our marriage one last chance.
He was a master at persuading and manipulating me the way he wanted, and even when I knew he was doing it, I chose to ignore it. And when I remembered when he almost choked me to death because I threatened to leave him, a chill ran up my spine, and I pushed every thought about getting a divorce deep into my subconscious. I didn't have the courage to stand up to him.
Because Zara wasn't feeling well on the day of her birthday, the party was rescheduled for a week later. Chester hired a clown and a magician; his mother's garden was covered with balloons and bubbles, food and drinks were everywhere, and a giant birthday cake crowned the entire show. It was pompous and an absolute waste of money, but he didn't listen to my objections.
Zara's friends were astonished and enjoyed every bit of it, our daughter included. It was a fun day, and I couldn't be happier seeing a wide smile on my baby's beautiful face. When we got home, she was so tired that Chester carried her to bed, and she instantly fell asleep. I was equally exhausted.
"Leave it for tomorrow, baby doll," Chester said from the threshold when he returned from Zara's room and found me filling the dishwasher.
"Just a few more plates, and I'm done," I replied, feeling his stare on me. We hadn't been intimate for more than two weeks, and I felt like he was going to start something.
Throughout the entire day, he made some remarks, comments, and compliments about my appearance, and my suspicions were correct. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his huge frame against me. A chill ran up my spine, which wasn't pleasurable. I didn't want to reject him, but I didn't feel okay with us having sex either. It was a complicated situation.
"You're as cold as ice toward me," he muttered into my ear, and I froze in his arms. Of course, he noticed the change in my behavior. Before I was happy with every touch, kiss, or look he gave me, but now, I avoided him as much as I could.
"And can you blame me?" I asked, turning to face him with his arms still holding me.
"No," he whispered regretfully, "I can't, Valeria." He leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. A tornado of emotions erupted in my chest, swirling into a vast mass of pure confusion.
"I need a shower," I mumbled, wriggling to get away from him, and thankfully, he let me go. I caught a glimpse of sadness behind his look, but I didn't stay to tell him something nice. I had to be alone with my erratic thoughts and try to put some order in them.
Once in the bathroom, I locked the door and sat on the toilet, hiding my face behind my trembling palms. All I wanted to do was disappear into thin air and never return. But Chester made it perfectly clear he wouldn't let me go. Not to mention Zara. I couldn't put her through such a trauma. Still, was I able to give my husband another chance?
He wasn't all bad. He had flaws, and sometimes, he was moody and took his anger out on us, but I believed he cared. But whatever I told myself about Chester being a good man, my last experience with him wouldn’t let me give him any slack. He attacked, hurt, and forced me to stay with him. I couldn't ignore the fact he crossedallthe lines. Our relationship was broken, and I didn't know if it could be repaired.
